


oh how the world can be so vast (on this journey to the past)

by diamond0604



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Amnesia, Anastasia AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Memory Loss, Prince! Dan, Royalty, Sharing a Bed, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Temporary Amnesia, musical AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 06:31:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16948803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamond0604/pseuds/diamond0604
Summary: After a revolution has left the kingdom of Virago in despair, Phil Lester and Felix Kjellberg concoct a plan. A plan that not only will let them out of the barren kingdom of Virago but a plan that will lead them to riches. They plan to deceive the Dowager Queen of Virago who lost her entire family in the revolution. Her entire family except for one member, the famed Prince Daniel Howell, whose body was never found and is still rumoured to be alive. The two con men stumble across Dan, an orphan with no memories and no idea who he truly is, the perfect chess pawn in their plan. But together they all discover things about themselves on a journey to find home, love and family.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> this is my piece for the pbb 2018! i really hope you guys enjoy it. didn't make this on my own i just wanna thank my beta raina for going over this work for me and helping me make it what it is now. you can find them at lucid-romance on tumblr. i also wanna thank emily, i-stg-emily on tumblr who made a beautiful playlist for this piece. [listen to it here](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLohZYpK90pm0-S1b5pAs0FzcqR3bRI3CO)
> 
> you can follow me on tumblr [here](http://diamond0604.tumblr.com) and i'm also really active on my [twitter](https://twitter.com/softystevie)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> that's all from me and i hope you enjoy the fic!!

**prologue**

King Fredrick sat on his throne, leaning back into the plush velvet sighing, closing his eyes taking a deep breath before letting his voice boom across the room,  
“Let him in.”  
The grand doors to the throne opened, revealing a grubby man being held down by either arm before being tossed to the floor. 

“Ah Vindicta, my old advisor.” Fredrick breathed, “do you know why you’re here?”  
“No sir I do not,” Vindicta said, a tremble in his voice.  
“Are you sure? Because you were caught stealing from castle grounds, gold, jewelry, robes whatever you could get your filthy hands on.”  
“My wife is ill sir! Please, I only wanted to help her! She needs health and care, and she’s with child, my child, please I only want to help them please sir!”  
“You wish to get away with your crimes! Soon I’ll have any criminal knocking at my door asking for forgiveness.”  
“Please, I’ll do anything.”

Fredrick tapped his fingers one arm of his throne.  
“My father always said that fair rulers make wise rulers…” Fredrick began, a dark grin spreading across his face. Vindicata’s face rose hope starting to make its’ way across his face.  
“You took something from me, I think it’s only fair that I take something from you. You will hand your wife over to me, she will work along with the other servants in this grand castle. You, however will never be able to see her again.”  
Vindicata let out a loud wail.  
“Please sir, please no! I’ll do anything!”  
Fredrick stared him down with cold, unforgiving eyes before opening his mouth and allowed his voice to ring across the room.  
“Get him off the grounds.”

~~~~

In desperation, Vindicta tried anything he could to see his wife again. He lived on whispers from the palace, but upon learning that both his wife died in childbirth and his child had been born still, he let rage blind him. He rallied people of Virago, people who hated the King, people who despised the throne and planned to rampage the castle to take the throne in the same way Fredrick had taken his family away from him. He joined forces with Maximis Salvatore, a young father whose siblings had been ripped apart from him by Fredrick, lost his wife due to sickness and only family was a young eight-year-old son. Together they bonded together over rage, loss, and grief. Together they performed a rare act of sorcery one that would grant Vindicta unimaginable power. Together they thought the power they would obtain would be necessary to kill the king. 

However the spell went horribly wayward, and Vindicta was left without a body, only as a spirit and simply possessing a body would he be able to perform acts of terrible magic. Vindicta possessed Maximus and together; would they lead a band of people to kill the king, his family and together would they sit on the throne together. 

~~~~

“Please grandmamma! Please don’t go! Please stay!” Prince Daniel Howell pleaded, holding himself tight in his grandmother’s arms.  
“Oh little bear I’m not going far, Amissia’s only a train ride away.” Maria soothed, stroking Daniel’s curls.  
“A four hour train ride. What if I never see you again?” Daniel cried.  
Maria let go of Daniel’s small body and held his soft cheeks in her warm hands.  
“I will see each other again little bear, I promise. You’ll come visit me in Amissia, we will go exploring down streets, eat the best foods and go to the theatre every day.”

Maria Bethany wasn’t only known as queen of Virago but was renowned for her skill as a singer and an actress and Daniel looked up to her and wished with his whole heart to follow in her footsteps. He had begged her to teach him how to sing just like her, listened to her every word about how to be a ruler, taught himself how to stand like her, straight and regal. Maria had more authority over Daniel then his own parents did. Maria once again took Daniel into her warm embrace. She leaned in, lips close to his ears,  
“Don’t tell your younger siblings, but you’re my favourite.”  
Daniel’s eyes widened, “Really?” he breathed, voice soft.  
“I even got you a present.”  
“But you got everyone else a present too!”  
“No, I’m going to give you three presents.”

Daniel looked up with tear-filled eyes, but excitement painted all over his face as he watched Maria stride over to a suitcase on the dressing table. Daniel gasped as he heard the clasps click open.  
“Close your eyes little bear, I want it to be a surprise.”  
Not wanting to disobey his grandmother so soon before she left he closed his eyes and held his hand out. In his warm palms, he felt a cool chain pool in his hands.  
“Open your eyes.”

In his hand was a necklace, gold chain holding a single shining key with a pattern engraved, lines twisting around tiny jewels.  
“What’s the key for grandmamma?”  
Maria smiled wide as she placed a journal and a music box into Daniel’s lap. They too had the same pattern of lines engraved; twisting around shining jewels.  
“The key unlocks the journal, so you can write about all the adventures you’re going to have while I’m gone. When we see each other, you can read them to me just like how I read storybooks to you. The key also unlocks the music box, and if you look closely, you can see our song lyrics engraved on the edge.”

It was a cold winter day when Daniel and his Grandmamma decided to write a song together. They even wrote accompanying music for it on the piano an instrument Daniel was just beginning to learn. 

Maria took the key gently from Daniel’s hand and unlocked the journal with a click. She gently opened the book, revealing to Daniel the words already written on the first page.  
“I wrote the lyrics for you, just in case you forget.” Maria teased.  
“Oh, Grandmamma!” Daniel laughed, “I could never forget them!”  
Daniel then took the key from his Grandmother and took it upon himself to wind up his music box. It opened, and gentle tinkles rang through the air.  
“Sing it with me little bear, before I leave.”  
Not allowing tears to take hold of his throat he began to sing with his grandmother.

_On the wind,_  
_‘cross the sea_  
_Hear this song and remember,_  
_Soon you’ll be, home with me_  
_Once Upon a December_

There was a knock on Daniel’s door that interrupted their singing and it made them both jump, their bubble of time together popped.  
“Come in,” Maria called, while Daniel only further buried his face in his Grandmother’s robes.  
The queen strode in draped in dark green robes.  
“Have you said your goodbyes, my dear Daniel? Dinner is about to begin, and your grandmother is leaving soon after.”  
“Yes my dear Alexandrina,” Maria said, deciding to speak for Daniel who was too close to tears to be able to speak. She looked back at Daniel again, “Come, Daniel, to dinner we go.”

After dinner, the entire Howell family stood on the steps of the palace, suitcases by Maria’s feet being loaded into the carriage and tears pouring from Daniel’s eyes harder than ever.  
Taking Daniel into a final hug, Maria leaned down and whispered into Daniel’s ear,  
“Remember little bear, Amissia.”  
With a final squeeze Maria swept herself and her robes into the carriage, the door clicked behind her, and the horses began to pull.  
“Grandmamma!” Daniel yelled, beginning to chase the carriage throughout the courtyard before stopping once the carriage was outside the castle grounds. He saw his grandmother waving out the window before his mother gently pulled him back inside the castle. 

 

**five years later**

Daniel sat at his desk finishing off his letter to his grandmother as he heard the hustle and bustle of the castle preparing for another ball. With the seal of an envelope, he handed his letter to a servant boy who couldn’t be much older than himself. He must’ve been an apprentice of some sort.  
“Can you post this for me, please? By the end of the night?”  
“Another letter to the Dowager queen my prince? It’s only been a couple days since the last one!”  
“A lot can happen in a couple days, even in a night and I want her to know everything. Please make sure it gets posted?”  
“I’ll make sure it gets sent on its’ way right now sir.”  
“Thank you.”

Daniel was about to make his way down the ballroom, to begin greeting guests but he patted down his suit only to notice he had left his journal and music box on his dressing table. The key though still hung around his neck and he never took it off. He stepped back into his room and slipped the journal into his inner suit pocket where it just barely fit. In the mirror, it did look a little bit odd, but he thought little of it. The music box, however, he couldn’t figure out a way for it to fit in one of his many pockets without distorting his suit. He decided to leave it on his dressing table, no one dared to steal from him anyway.

The ball went on as per every other ball his parents hosted. He danced with people, girls and boys alike, laughed with his friends, making plans to go riding and spent a sizeable amount of time at the banquet table. 

The clock struck eleven when his parents told him to see himself to sleep, his younger sister being sent up with her nanny three hours ago. After he climbed the grand staircase to his room he heard an tremendous crash followed by the echoes of many screams. He whipped his head around to see servants thundering up the stairs telling everyone to run, to escape.

Daniel fought against the crowd and rushed the other way towards his room. Towards his music box, how on earth could he leave it there to burn. He couldn’t leave it.

He burst through the door and grabbed it from his dressing table before rushing out the door into a hall empty except for panicked screams and thundering feet. He hurried down the staircase jumping towards each landing. 

The ballroom was chaos, screams echoed off the walls and sorcery twisted around the room. People lay dead on the floor, and Daniel turned the other way to run towards the servants’ entrance. 

The kitchen was filled with mayhem people screaming, knives flying and Daniel didn’t know what to do. He was pushed and shoved to the side, a cold bench digging into his back seeing his very own kitchen staff being killed in front of him.

“Psst! Your Highness!”  
Daniel turned around to see a boy, the same one who posted his letter to his grandmamma earlier, inside a small door in the wall, no taller than his waist.  
“This way sir, you have to leave!” The black haired boy said again.  
Daniel nodded firmly and bent over to squeeze his body through the door frame, and he closed the door behind him, the guilt of leaving people behind with it.  
He followed the servant boy who had a light in his hand quietly,  
“I posted your letter by the way.” The boy said, turning back towards Daniel.  
Daniel looked up at his face, and for a moment he was startled by the bright blue in the boy’s eyes in the dimming yellow light.  
“Thank-thank you.”  
“I’ll get you out of here, maybe you can go see your grandmother after all this.”  
Daniel only nodded, chewing his lip as he heard more screams from above.

They reached the end of the secret passage, where another small door stood.  
The boy unlocked it and stepped out into the snow and held the door open for Daniel to follow.  
“There’s some carriages by the gate if you run you might catch one.”  
“What about you?”  
“I’m gonna try and find more people, help them escape.” 

Daniel was shocked; surely this person wanted to escape too? This was his chance! But he knew that there was no way he could convince this boy to flee with him. He stuck out his hand instead,  
“Thank you. For helping me.” He said.  
The other boy only smiled and shook Daniel’s hand in return.  
“It’s okay your highness. Just doing my job.”  
“What’s your name, I’ll raise your pay when everything goes back to normal.”  
“I don’t think that will happen, your highness, but it’s Philip sir, Philip is my name.”  
“Thank you, Philip.”  
“Your highness you really should be on your way.” 

Daniel dropped the other boy’s hand in shock, stepping back quickly, back into reality.  
“Yes yes of course,” he mumbled before he took off running towards the carriages.  
“Thank you again!” he waved.

He didn’t hear a response. 

He made his way to the carriage, jumping on, relief flooding his veins as he felt it begin to move, maybe he could make his way out after all.

The carriage jolted to a stop, horses shrieked, and people screamed to get off, and in the mob, Daniel was pushed and shoved, and he fell face first into the dark deep snow. 

 


	2. in my dreams

**part one: in my dreams**

**five years later**

The windows of the bar were fogged with steam, warmth and the voices of people enjoying drinks, a rarity now. 

Philip Lester and his friend Felix were crowded around a small table, in a far corner of the pub heads thrown back in laughter. There was gossip in the air, twisting its’ way into conversations but they couldn’t care less. If it didn’t get them paid they didn’t care, a motto for the pair. 

One of the barmaids, Clara waltzed up to the table tray in hand, skirt swishing.  
“Hey boys,” she winked, “can I have a seat?”  
“Don’t you have a bar and customers to attend to?” Felix leered, taking another swig from his bottle.  
“Nah, I’m off for the night, Rosaline’s gotta deal with the lot tonight,” she replied with a smirk on her face.  
“You’re not gonna offer her a hand?” Phil asked, eyebrows raised, “It can get pretty wild when it gets late, she’s pretty new too.”  
“The best way to learn is through experience Philip,” Clara chuckled as she sipped on Phil’s beer. Phil was about to open his mouth in protest as Clara rolled her eyes.  
“Oh have your beer back,” she sniggered as she slid it back over to him, “have you heard the gossip.”  
“Who cares about that shit, it’s all fake anyway, doesn’t help us get some money to live around here in this shithole-”  
“No this can get you paid, shut up and listen.”

“You know how that old queen, what’s her name…”  
“Maria Bethany.” Phil cut in.  
“Alright then smartass,” Clara sassed, “She’s always been on the look for that Prince Daniel cause no one ever found his body after they all got killed but y’know crooks, people like you two,” she teased, wiggling her eyebrows, “get fake ones y’know, lookalikes tell them what to say in hopes of getting themselves some reward. But the latest one apparently was one question away from getting proclaimed ‘Daniel of Virago’ but he got it wrong, and she turned him in! He’s in prison now!”

“What question did he get wrong?”  
“Well apparently-”  
“Guard! Guard on the way!” a voice called out.

The bar went all a flurry, people stumbling to seats, backs straightening as the door opened to a guard in dark red uniform marching in to inspect.

This was a common occurrence since the death of the Howell family, the new order sent guards to find any criminals, anyone who had ties with the ‘old Virago’ as they said, a mention of the Howell family in a good light could mean incarceration. 

A guard, dressed in a dark red uniform entered the bar, and the tension was tight in the air. People faked laughter and lightness but the bar was tense, and everyone forged enjoyment.  
After one drink the guard seemed to approve the state the bar was in and swept up and away, coat in hand and gun in his belt.

The bar let out a collective sigh of relief and genuine laughter, and happiness wove it’s way around the bar once again. 

~~~~

Phil and Felix were on their way to the illegal markets, to find a Howell relic, hoping to find something to prove to the Dowager Queen that they found the real Daniel Howell.  
“Look to your left, it’s that Gabriel Salvatore guy,” Felix whispered under his breath.  
Maximus Salvatore was known to work with Vindicta in the murder of the Howell family and was well supported in his cause by the many enemies of the Howell family but died mysteriously after crowning himself, King. The title of Monarch was held by his wife, but upon death, it was passed along to his son, Gabriel Salvatore. The supporters for the Salvatore family had shrunken in numbers as Gabriel ruled with a strict hand, in the same way of Fredrick Howell, but no one dared to speak a word, the punishment of death in the air. 

Gabriel was sat outside a cafe, taking up the role as a guard for the day and it was not an uncommon sight to see him roaming the streets. He liked to ‘be one with the people’ as he would say but the everyone thought he just wanted to pick the bad apples off the tree himself and send them away. A young waiter approached Gabriel, meal upon his tray. The waiter was a young boy, with cocoa-colored curly hair. He gingerly took a cup of coffee from his tray and placed it in front of his king. As he was about to set another plate on the table, a truck down the road backfired, and the sound cut through the tension tight air. The young waiter jumped high and fell to the floor, plate crashing down around him.

Phil flinched, hoping the young waiter wouldn’t face any punishment for behaving in front of the king in such a manner. To Phil’s surprise, the king offered his hand to pull the young waiter to his feet, and the pair exchanged in a mumbled conversation before the waiter rushed back inside. 

Phil felt a tug at his sleeve so along with Felix they hurried to the markets.

~~~~

Gabriel sat at the table, fingernails tapping insistently on the arm of his chair, his thoughts filled with plans surrounding border control and country regulations. He hated ruling, he hadn’t wanted this life that had been thrust upon him but it was his father’s will for him to do so. Gabe thought about it every night, how he had promised his father he would rule the country, he would rule the country his father had fought for, the one his father died for.

He smiled when he saw a waiter approach him, hot cup of coffee and a warm meal upon his tray. The waiter gave him a tiny smile, a rare sight for him to see anymore as all the people he ruled seemed to be too scared to breathe around him anymore. 

Gabriel took a deep breath and tried to focus on the pretty waiter in front of him. A truck backfired down the road, and the waiter jumped high, letting out a squeak before falling to the floor, food clattering all around them. 

The waiter immediately tensed, and Gabe knew it was because he was terrified of any charge he might face for acting in such a way. but Gabe tried as hard as he could to be kind to people when he could, but sometimes he had to be strong and steely like his father taught him to be, for the sake of the country and its’ people.

“It was just a truck backfiring,” Gabe chuckled offering his hand to the young waiter. “That’s all it was.” he continued pulling the waiter to his feet. “Those days are over neighbor against neighbor. There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.”  
The waiter looked up, straight into Gabe’s eyes and his breath was taken away, and his heart began to quicken.  
“You’re shaking,” Gabe mumbled, “Please take a seat maybe some rest will do you some good.”  
“No! No thank you.” The waiter said already crouching down, delicately gathering broken glass on his tray.  
“What’s your hurry?”  
The waiter was already walking away before turning around.  
“I can’t lose this job.” he confessed, “They’re not easy to come by.”

~~~~

Felix pulled Phil into an alleyway, narrow and twisted and Phil cringed at the sound of their shoes crunching on gravel.  
“Are you sure this is the right way?” Phil asked his voice tense.  
“Phil if this place wasn’t well hidden then everyone selling would be dead or captured by now.”  
That made Phil silent.

The pair walked by a bookstore but Felix tracked back, and Phil followed.  
“Banned history books,” Felix whispered, “we’ll need them.”  
They ended up finding 3 books on the Howell family history and paying the price of 20 (stolen) coins for them.  
“We need something to show to the old lady.” Felix mumbled., “otherwise she’ll never believe us.”

They circled around the market looking through every stall they came across, trying to find something, anything that could link to Prince Daniel of Virago, the plotting pair came across a stall selling jewelry. Delicate gold chains, jewels that would hang beautifully on necks and as Phil dug through the pile he found a music box. He lifted it up to his eyes, he inspected the jewels encaptured in the gold and the words engraved delicately into the skin of the artifact.  
“How much is this music box?” He asked, sending a furtive look to the seller.  
The seller’s face upturned into a sly grin, one Phil knew all too well, he found himself pulling that face too often.  
“The music box?” the seller smirked, “It belonged to Prince Daniel Howell, genuine royalty, I could never part with it.”  
Phil pulled a sly smile of his own, “20 coins?”  
The seller’s smirk faded instantly, “Done.” 

~~~~

“Yes, Grandmamma! It is me! Daniel Howell!” The young man proclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air, dropping to his knees, dramatically.

Phil and Felix sighed once again, that was their last candidate.

Sensing their disappointment the auditioner dropped their (terrible) act.  
“Look I’m not really an actor,” they commented  
“No!” Felix gasped, sarcasm dripping from his voice.  
“What you’re doing is illegal!” The auditioner huffed! “If you weren’t so handsome Phil,” they began as they draped themselves over Phil’s chest, “I’d report you.”  
“Thank you, gentlemen, we’ll let you know.” Felix groaned, pulling the auditioner off Phil.  
“Come on Michael,” one of the others said, “That means no.”  
The failed auditioners all dawdled out the door, into the crisp early winter air.  
“That’s it?” Phil remarked, disappointment heavy on his tongue.  
“Daniel Howell’s don’t grow on trees, my friend.”  
The scheming pair at their dinner of stale bread and small pieces of hard cheese by candlelight in the back of the auditorium, (Their home was the abandoned royal Howell theatre, one of many and the one furthest away from the castle.) when they hard an opening and slam of a door.  
“That lot ratted out on us! I knew they would, what the fuck were we thinking!” Phil panicked, as he rushed to blow out the candles.  
“Quick under the seats!” Felix whispered, voice harsh.  
“I mean what’s the point, at least they’ll feed us in jail,” Phil grumbled, following his friend’s instruction.  
“If we don’t die that is.” Felix shot back cheekily.

They heard footsteps on the stage below and held their breath.  
“I’m looking for a Phil!”  
Phil stayed silent, not idiotic enough to fall into this trap.  
“Please! I’m not here for trouble, I just need, some help.” the voice continued, desperation leaking through.  
Phil hauled himself from out and under the seat.  
“I’m Phil.”  
The person on the stage lit up,  
“Can you come down here?”

Phil and Felix came tumbling down the stairs to see the same cocoa-coloured hair waiter from a couple days ago.  
“What do you want?” Phil asked, annoyance in his voice.  
“I need exit papers.” The waiter admitted, eyes shining as if he thought exit papers were easy to acquire.  
“Exit papers have a cost my friend,” Phil replied.  
“I’ve saved a little money?”  
“The right exit papers cost a lot more.”  
“I’m a hard worker! You’ll get your money!”  
“Really? What do you do?”  
The boy stopped, “I’m a waiter.” he mumbled.  
“Yeah, that earns so much.”  
“In Odessa, I washed dishes! And in Leonada I was an assistant at a hospital!”  
“Leonada?” Felix interrupted, “That’s a long way from here.”  
“I know,” the boy huffed, “I walked it.”  
“You walked it?” Phil exclaimed, his eyebrows high.  
“Then you don’t need exit papers!” Felix laughed, “there’s a canal outside, just jump in and start swimming!”

The waiter looked affronted and opened his mouth to retort, but before he could, he swayed and looked like he was about to fall to the ground. Reacting quickly Phil wrapped his hand around his waist before pulling him upright.

“Are you alright?” Phil asked, no trace of malice in his voice.  
The waiter only nodded before collapsing on a chair the Felix had retrieved.

“Let’s start over.” Phil pushing his hair back and sticking his hand out.  
“I’m Phil Lester.”  
Phil looked over to see Felix staring out towards the wings of the stage and shoved him.  
Felix jumped before doing a dramatic bow,  
“And I’m Felix Kjellberg.” He proclaimed, “And you are my friend?”  
The waiter immediately looked down at his feet, “I dunno.” he mumbled.  
“That’s ridiculous!” Felix laughed, “how could someone not know who they are?”  
“They gave me a name, at the hospital.” the waiter murmured, “Dan. They said I had amnesia and there was nothing they could do about it.”  
“Then tell us what you do know.” Phil eased, pulling up a chair for himself and eyeing Felix to do the same. 

“Well,” Dan began. “They said I was found by the side of the road, face first in dirty, half-melted snow. Call the child ‘Dan’ they said and give him a bed in the orphanage, I don’t know a thing before that. After the orphanage I’d walk along roads, working where I could and moving on when I had too. Keeping up my courage, I know it’s stupid, but it’s worth it when I’m at night, all alone except for my dreams.”

“What do you dream about Dan?” Phil asked, his voice even and gentle.

Dan took a deep breath, “In my dreams, shadows call, there’s a light at the end of a hall. But when I wake up, my dreams fade away. It’s like my memories, anything before the accident they’re like watercolours, I know they’re there but they’re too blurry enough for me to see what they really are. But I know everything will come back one day. I dream of a city, beyond all compare. One with a beautiful river, one with a bridge by a square and one where I hear a voice whisper ‘I’ll see you again.’” Dan’s frown deepened and his eyebrows creased. 

“You don’t know what it’s like. Not to know you who you are. To hear screams and see a fire in your dreams, knowing it has something to do with your past but not knowing quite how. But I still have faith in the truth of my dreams. In my dreams, I am someone, I am important to someone, and I know my heart has so much to reveal and I want to go to Amissia. Somehow I know they’ll be answers there waiting for me.”

“Well, Dan! It turns out we’re heading to Amissia too!” Felix declared. 

Dan turned towards Felix, eyebrows raised. “What do you mean?”

“Have you ever heard of the rumours, the gossip surrounding Prince Daniel Howell?”

Dan shook his head, “I don’t bother with gossip, it all ends up in the dust anyway.”  
Phil and Felix shared a grin. A young man, one with a decent amount of resemblance to the lost prince, one desperate to escape, one with no memories. A young man made of putty that they could shape into anything they wished. Felix then launched into a rather dramatic retelling of what happened to the Howells, about how Daniel’s body wasn’t found with his family, about how people believed him to be alive. 

“We’re looking for him, to reunite him with his family,” Phil said, his voice gentle.  
Dan’s eyebrows furrowed, what did this have to do with him?  
“We were thinking; perhaps maybe you could be our Daniel Howell. To reunite with his Grandmother.”  
“But I’m not him.” Dan retorted, “I grew up in an orphanage for fucks sake.”  
“But what’s to say you couldn’t be him?” Felix cajoled.

“I said I wanted to find out who I am not lying to an old woman!” Dan cried.  
“But look, Dan,” Felix coaxed, point to an illustration of Prince Daniel Howell in one of the books they had purchased, “the two of you share the same curly brown hair and brown eyes-”  
“You could find any other young man with curly brown hair and brown eyes! It’s a pretty common physical trait to have!”  
“But Dan,” Phil began, his voice soft, “No one knows what happened to him, you don’t know what happened to you. What’s to say that you couldn’t be him? If you’re telling the truth about your lost memories-”  
“I am!” Dan gasped, looking affronted.  
“-Then you have just as good a chance of being Prince Daniel Howell as any other curly brown haired, brown eyed on the streets.” 

Dan stared at Phil, taking in Phil’s words and the possibility that he might be the lost Prince of Virago. 

“Why should I travel all the way with the pair of you? What’s to say you aren’t using me as part as some scheme?”

“An answer is an answer, Dan. Coming with us might help you find out who you really are.”  
Phil answered gently. 

“Phil and I just want to help reunite a family,” Felix answered, a grin spreading across his face, sensing that they had just won the waiter over. 

Dan flicked his eyes back and forth between the two con men, taking his lip underneath his teeth with nervousness. 

“I’ll do it.”

~~~~

“He’s a waiter!”  
“He could barely feed himself before he found them!”  
“He’s a much of a Howell as I am!”  
“His name is Dan.”

Gabriel sighed deeply sinking deeply into the throne, head throbbing, Vindicta swirling around his mind. 

“Well, aren’t you gonna arrest them!”

Gabe took a deep breath, “The three of you have done your duty, and I’ve done mine; listening to your gossip.”  
“It’s not gossip; it’s the truth!”  
“Enough!” he boomed.

The three ragged young men stood quiet, eyes scared, wondering if reporting trouble was worth the consequences they might face.  
“I have had enough of the street gossip now get out of my sight!”

The three men gave hurried bows before scurrying out of the throne room. Gabe let out a breath, feeling his mind becoming his own once again. With some though Gabe resolved that there would be no harm in doing some investigating; there were three witnesses after all. 

“File their gossip into a report! And find that waiter!”

~~~~

“How do you become, how do you remember, a person you’ve forgotten who you ever were?” Dan asked as he paced around the stage.  
“We’re going to help you remember,” Phil explained, seating himself on one of the worn seats of the auditorium.  
“So take a deep breath and let’s begin,” Phil said.  
“You were born in a palace on the seaside.” Felix began,  
“And you could ride a horse by the time you were eight.” Phil continued.  
“Horseback riding?” Dan said, stunned , “me?”  
“You would throw tantrums and play with the maids. Made mischief in the kitchen and sneak tastings of the cooks’ food.”  
“But you would stop when your father gave you that look.” Phil winked cheekily and Dan stamped down the feeling of warmth making its’ way into his veins. 

~~~~

“Now you’re great Aunt Lyrica…” Felix began with a brow raised, expecting Dan to finish his sentence. When Dan responded with silence Felix huffed and turned to gape at Phil.  
“She was a spectacular ballroom dancer and…”  
“People considered it a great honour when she asked to dance with them!” Dan finally splurted out, relief on his face as Felix and Phil cheered. 

“Now your distant cousin Christopher…” Phil began as he turned to look at Dan.  
“He loved to drink! The Howell’s always had someone watching him making sure he didn’t drink too much.” Dan quoted from one of the history books they had found. 

“The once Duke of Leonada Charles-”  
“He had a wart!”  
“Countess Lilianna-”  
“Was short!”  
“Count Thompson-”  
“Always wore feathered hats to galas and balls! He wore a different one to each event he attended!”  
“And…”  
“He’s still alive today!”  
“I’ve heard he’s apparently gotten really fat.” Felix mumbled to Phil under his breath with a smirk.  
“And he used to have a tabby cat.” Dan added in making Phil and Felix turn to stare at Dan in surprise. Together they flicked through their books trying to find the fact Dan had just stated but neither of them could.  
“Did you tell him that?” Phil asked Felix softly so Dan couldn’t hear. Felix shook his head, confusion obvious on his face.  
“He must’ve read ahead, or maybe he heard to somewhere, he does work at a cafe, you hear all sorts of gossip at a cafe.” 

~~~~

“That slouch you have is one that the royals would be disgusted by.” Felix deduced as Dan walked into the auditorium after a tiresome shift at the cafe for more “lessons” into rediscovering his past. His shifts were draining but they needed the little money he made, they needed blankets to keep them warm throughout the biting winter. Felix leaped out of his sear and and pulled himself onstage and telling Dan to do the same.  
“Now,” Felix began as he circled around Dan who stood centre stage, shoulder curling in on himself, lip between his teeth and eyes on the floor of the creaky stage. 

“Shoulders back,” Felix demanded first as he pried Dan’s shoulders from their hunch, “and stand up tall!” he said poked Dan in the back making him jerk into position. Felix spent at least fifteen minutes berating Dan’s posture and as soon as he deemed it fit for a royal he immediately started to critique how Dan walked.

“Keep your back straight!” Felix shouted from his seat in the audience as Dan walked yet another lap across the stage.  
“You’re not walking, pretend you’re trying to float!” A cheery voice chirped in and Dan whipped around to see where it came from.  
“And right now you’re floating like a sinking boat.” Felix not-so-subtly mumbled.  
“When did you get here? How long have you been sitting there?” Dan seethed as he glared down at Phil.  
“Long enough to know that you don’t only need walking lessons but bowing lessons.” Phil said as he bounded up the stairs to the stage. “Felix can teach you that. Come on Felix!” Phil called as he approached Dan and Dan ignored the tingling in his blood as Phil approached. Dan huffed and turned his gaze towards Felix who was making his way up the stairs his back slouched.

“You’re the ones who don’t stand straight!” Dan complained as he crossed his arms.  
“It’s all his years of bowing in court!” Phil proclaimed.  
“Bowing is a sign of respect!” Felix chided. The pair bickered but not with harsh words but gentle teasing. Ignoring them Dan tried to attempt to bow after seeing Felix do it once and with only instinct to guide him.  
“I bowed to someone once!” Straight legs and straight back Dan thought.  
“Ah ha! So you admit it.” Flick your wrist lightly as you begin to bend  
“I was a boy I didn’t know any better!” Curve your arm as you bow  
“And that was the first and last time I ever bowed to any-” and straighten as you stand up.  
“Where did you learn to do that?” Phil asked interrupting Dan’s thoughts, astonishment in his eyes. Dan only shrugged as Felix admitted he hadn’t taught Dan how to bow.  
“He must be a natural!” Felix concluded as they moved on correcting Dan’s posture. 

~~~~

“You know,” Felix began as he span dramatically on the worn dusty stage, turning his gaze to Dan. “Prince Daniel Howell learned to dance as soon as he could walk, there are rumours that he could dance as well as any other grown adult at the age of seven.  
“And?” Dan huffed ass he sank lower into his seat and started fiddling with the tattered fabric of the auditorium chairs.  
“So it means you have to learn how to dance!” Felix revealed, with a dramatic flick of the arms. 

“Oh no,” Dan said as he jumped out from his chair and began to walk to the doors that led out of the auditorium, “I’ve never danced before, this isn’t going to work!” Dan cried. Felix jumped off the stage and bolted towards Dan, taking grip of his arm before he could get out the door.  
“No time like the present to learn then!” Felix smiled as mirth gleamed in his eyes, “Phil will be your partner!” he announced as Phil walked through the creaking doors. 

Shock made its’ way onto both Dan and Phil’s faces at Felix’s words and before either of them could react Felix shoved Dan into Phil’s arms; when Phil caught Dan Felix only laughed and said that they were a perfect pair already. 

They spent hours practicing, Felix insisted on not only learning how to dance, but on perfecting it and insisted that they learn different styles too. The waltz was the hardest to perfect and after so much time close together, hands intertwined and arms around each other Dan was ready to step back and just be on his own. 

“Ow!”  
Dan stumbled back as he felt pain shoot up and throughout his body.  
“You stepped on my toe! Again!” he pouted as he glared at Phil.  
“I’m sorry, it was an accident I promise.” Phil apologised with sincerity lingering on his tone of voice but Dan was too fed up to hear it. It had been too many hours of dancing, too many hours in close proximity to a man that made his heart stutter and his cheeks warm. 

Felix began counting them into time again, he had said that they weren’t leaving until they could get the footing of the waltz at least once without stepping on each other.  
“One, two, three, one, two, three,” he counted, “one, two-”  
“Ow!” Phil yelped as Dan kicked him in the shin.  
“Sorry! It was an accident! I promise.” Dan said a pained smile on his face, mockery lacing his voice. 

~~~~

Weeks carried on like this, as the winter began to loosen it’s hold on the country, slowly giving way to Spring. Felix and Phil were teaching Dan the long forgotten past of Prince Daniel Howell. The trio would rotate nights on who got a raggedy mattress one of them had salvaged one of the dressing rooms to sleep while Dan was bringing back wages for tickets out of the country and scraps for dinner. 

~~~~

Dan sat in a rickety chair at a old dining table that Felix had found god knows where poking at leftovers he had snuck from the cafe at the request of Felix and Phil. They wanted to teach him to eat like nobility and Dan just put up with it, what good would protesting do anyway? 

“Don’t slouch,” Felix chided, “not even when you’re sitting in a chair.”  
Dan bit back a retort, ‘don’t slouch’ was what he heard most from the pair these days. He heard it at every turn and yes he knew that royals don’t slouch but a lifetimes’ worth of wanting to be small and unseen couldn’t be unravelled in only a couple weeks. But Dan ate the rest of his meal in silence, uncomfortable under the stares of Phil and Felix who were watching his every movement, his every breath trying to critique his mannerisms. Eventually Felix stood up and announced he was going to prepare another quiz to test Dan’s knowledge on the Howell Family History, leaving only Dan and Phil in the chilly empty room. Dan avoided Phil’s stern gaze by turning his own eyes to his plate, the floor, his shoes, looking anywhere but the deep and admittedly attractive blue of the other man. 

With his eyes looking elsewhere, his mind distracted Dan didn’t notice Phil had inched closer and closer to him until they’re knees were so close that they were almost touching. He only noticed when Phil had pinched a crumb from his plate and smirked cheekily as he ate it.  
“Hey! That’s mine!” Dan pouted even though he wasn’t really that upset but he jumped at any opportunity to tease Phil.  
“And what are you going to do about it?” Phil retorted lightly, leaning every so slightly closer to Dan, making his lungs stop and his heart stutter. There was no escaping Phil’s gaze no, no denying how attractive this man was especially upclose where Dan could see the yellow flecks in his irises and the soft smattering of freckles on his skin.  
“That was my crumb, you had no right eating it.” Dan joked despite his brain struggling to function when Phil was so close.  
“What about this crumb right here?” Phil replied quietly, not-so-subtly eyeing Dan’s lips making Dan’s heart race and blood freeze. Dan furrowed his eyebrows but before he could word a response to Phil’s question Phil reached out gently to cup Dan’s cheek with his palm, rendering Dan silent. Slowly Dan felt Phil’s fingers inch closer to his own lips and he felt Phil gently brush away a miniscule crumb that had settled on the corner of his lips. Soon Phil’s thumb was resting gently on Dan’s bottom lip as the pair stared at each other in silence, eyes flicking back and forth but soon they were leaning into each other; eventually they were only a breath apart leaning ever so much closer… 

“I found another history book!” Felix called from behind the door announcing his arrival making Dan and Phil jerk apart. 

Dan tried to ignore how his heart sank when Felix flounced into the room and dropped a thick history book onto the table. 

~~~~

It was a cool spring evening and Dan was so exhausted he couldn’t wait to collapse under a thin blanket and fall asleep. However as he finished the last few crumbs of dinner and closed his history book for the night Felix called,  
“One more dance! One more waltz before bed!” and he continued to bug Dan and Phil despite their protesting and complaining about how tired they were. Eventually Dan and Phil conceded at began to dance again and Dan could barely admit to himself that he enjoyed every second of it. 

Phil’s presence was comforting, his hands were warm to hold and his arm fit just so around Dan’s waist and what started off as clumsiness and stepping on toes had melted away into two people dancing together, hand in hand moving like they were one. 

Being so close to Phil made Dan’s heart flutter like a hummingbird, it made his cheeks warm like a summer's day and his blood bubble like champagne and he felt content just him and Phil like this. He tried to imagine what it would’ve been like if Felix wasn’t there, what would’ve happened and whether he would’ve liked it. 

~~~~

 

It was a chilly evening when Phil and Felix were quizzing Dan on the history of the Howell family once again. 

“Who is your great-grandmother?” Felix yelled from the seats of the auditorium to Dan on the stage.  
“Queen Beatrice,” Dan replied, weary.  
“And your great-great-grandmother?” Phil asked, his voice gentle.  
“Uh-” Dan began to mumble, “Queen Catherine?”  
Phil gave a smile as his heart began to swell and nodded.  
“Your best friend was?” Felix cut in.  
Dan rubbed his eyes and yawned, “The son of the Count and Countess of Corodonia, Charles.”  
“Wrong! It was William of Corodonia, Charles was the younger brother.”  
“I know who my best friend is!” Dan snarled.  
“Wow, what a temper,” Felix mumbled to Phil under his breath.  
“If you look at the book Dan, it does say it was William,” Phil said kindly.

“I’ve had it!” Dan snapped, throwing his book to the auditorium.  
“I hate this, I hate you both, I’m cold, I’m tired, and I’m hungry, and I don't remember anything,” Dan yelled as he stomped off stage. Phil and Felix were struck into silence and winced when they heard the sound of the dressing room door slam.  
Felix elbowed Phil, “Go talk to him. He likes you more than he likes me.”  
Rolling his eyes, Phil hauled himself out of his seat and made his way down into the dressing rooms. 

Floorboards creaked under his light steps and even though there was no one around to hear the sound, years of thievery and schemes made him wince at the sound. He found the only closed door in the hallway of dressing rooms and knocked gingerly.

Phil heard a noise from inside that and took it as a sign that he was welcome to enter. Phil pushed the door open carefully to see Dan lying face first on the couch of the dressing room.  
“Are you okay?” Phil asked, his voice soft.  
Another resounding mumble.  
“Felix is a dick sometimes, he’s just trying to help you remember.” Phil continued, unsure of what to say,  
“Seems like he just wants to be right all the time,” Dan mumbled into the couch.  
“I mean you’re not wrong.” Phil chuckled.  
Dan tossed himself to face Phil, affronted.  
“He does like to be right, all the time.” Phil cut in, not wanting to cause a scene, “I’ve had a fair few of arguments with him too. He can be a bit up himself.”  
Dan’s mouth twitched into a smile before returning to a pout.  
They sat in a comfortable silence, both of them too tentative to break it. 

“I’m sorry,” Dan finally sighed.  
“For what?”  
“For being difficult. It’s been a long day, I fucked up an order, I didn’t get many tips and, I’ve just….” Dan trailed off.  
“Had enough?” Phil finished for him.  
“Yeah.” 

The silence wrapped around them once again and Phil stared at Dan, a way he had never before. Phil stared and Dan’s cheeks, soft and plump, the sprinkle of freckles across his face, his rose coloured lips and the deep sea caramel of his eyes. 

“Why don’t we go to sleep?” Phil prompted, his voice cutting through the silence once again.  
“You can have the couch the night.” He said with a smile.  
Dan’s eyebrows raised as he shook his head,  
“It’s your turn.”  
Phil shrugged, his face one of nonchalance.  
“I can have it next time.”  
“But I had it yesterday!”  
They bickered back and forth, smiles on their lips and crinkles in their eyes. 

“We can share the bed then.” Phil decided, “I found another blanket today, we can share that too.”  
Dan opened his mouth to protests, but then his eyes flicked from Phil’s lips back to his eyes.  
“Fine.” he pouted, laughter in his eyes.  
Phil stood up to get his new find and his pillow (a treasure from his childhood) and returned to Dan who had already pressed himself in the back of the couch making room for Phil. Phil smiled as he slipped next to Dan and lay the blanket over the pair of them. They were both too tall to be coated in the warmth and thinning cotton so they tucked their legs in and Phil didn’t protest when Dan’s thigh slipped between his. 

Dan fell asleep fast, Phil learned as within moments he felt Dan’s arms curl around his waist pulling him close, as Dan edged away from his own pillow to Phil’s chest. Phil listened to Dan’s even breathing and soothed by the blanket of comfortable silence, the soft cotton entwined around both their bodies, Phil too, drifted into sleep.  
 


	3. once upon a december

**part two: once upon a december**

Gabriel was sat in his study, shoulders at ease and his stomach not so tight, (the throne room always made him anxious, like he was a clockwork, wound up as tight as it would go). There was a knock at his door,  
“Come in.” He called not moving his gaze from the window overviewing Virago. The entrance to his study creaked open, and he heard the click of sheaths in belts and the pitter patter of footsteps following behind them. 

“We found him, your Majesty. The troublemaker.”  
Gabriel slowly turned around to see the scared little waiter. The pretty one, with the lashes and freckles.  
He lifted his head towards the guard and gestured them away.  
“Leave me to deal with this.”

Gabe saw Dan’s face pale and saw his fingers begin to tremor. His heart sank, he didn’t know what to do. Surely a frightened waiter couldn’t cause too much trouble?

“What is the charge, sir?” Dan asked timidly, breaking the tense silence.  
“There is no charge? Why should there be?” Gabriel said, forcing out a harsh laugh.  
“Then why was I brought here?” Dan replied, his voice timid and shaky.  
Gabriel’s heart began to flutter, and he felt his cheeks warm and he panicked at the unfamiliar feeling. He felt out of control, he felt like his body was reacting in ways he didn’t want it to and it made him anxious. With a deep breath he felt himself regain control and composure. 

“There are just some rumours going around,” Gabriel said, his voice laced with faux nonchalance.  
He saw Dan gulp and twist his fingers in his robes.  
“What rumours sir?”  
“They say that someone is crawling around, trying to dig up the leftovers of the Howell Family. Something every good citizen knows is illegal.”  
“And do you think it’s me, sir?”

Gabe stopped,  
I do think it’s you, he thought, I know it’s you. But there was no evidence was there? Nothing that could prove this pretty young man was causing mischief and strife.  
“I do not.” He said, staring at the waiters swirling brown eyes. “I just want to confirm that the rumours are untrue.”  
Dan only nodded.  
“Then you may go.” 

Dan scrambled out of his seat, and Gabe saw his wince at the chairs squeal.  
“Thank you, your Majesty,” Dan mumbled with a rushed bow before he fled out the door, closing it softly behind him.  
Gabe turned back out to look at the city twisting his hands in his own robes. 

~~~~

Phil’s arm circled around Dan’s waist as he guided him into a narrow alleyway,  
“This way,” Phil mumbled.  
After weeks of learning the intricate details of the Howell family, eye rolling and bickering Phil and Felix felt as if they were ready to leave Virago, away from the rules, guards and strictly kept secrets. Dan had asked to see Phil’s childhood home, 

“You’ve helped me learn and remember my childhood Phil! It’s only fair that I get to see yours!” Dan had giggled deliriously after a particularly long night of revision. Phil’s heart swelled at the sight of Dan so light happy that he couldn’t say refuse Dan’s request even though his childhood home was a run-down, deserted bar that he shared with thieves, not unlike him. 

Dan gasped as he felt the warmth of Phil’s palm on his waist and held his breath as his heart fluttered as Phil pulled them closer together to shuffle down the alleyway. There was a muffle of drunken slurs and laughter as they approached the rundown bar.  
“Are there people here?” Dan whispered into Phil’s chest.  
“Just some old friends,” Phil sighed back, “They’re probably all drunk and rowdy, sorry if that bothers you.”  
“I’ve dealt with worse don’t worry.” Dan smiled knocking his hips lightly against Phil’s. 

The door opened with a creak and immediately the pair was surrounded by the smell of alcohol.  
“Look who it is!” someone declared, “Phil Lester everybody! Our little baby thief all grown up!”  
“Come on,” Phil mumbled into Dan’s hair, “Let’s go to my room.”  
“Thought he was on his way to Amissia! Or did he really miss us that much?” Someone else laughed.  
“You still have a room with these guys?” Dan asked, his brow raised. Phil only shrugged.  
A girl with dark blonde curls in a plain brown dress slid her hands up Dan’s back and around his shoulders neck.  
“He brought a new boy toy too,” she giggled, “Can I have a taste once you’re done, Phil?”  
Phil’s eyes darkened into a glare, and then everyone began to cackle at the sight of Phil.  
“Off you go Philly! We’ll keep it nice and loud down here, so you two enjoy yourselves!”

Dan and Phil stumbled up the stairs, Phil’s arm still around Dan’s waist the pair let out a collective breath when they were in Phil’s old ‘bedroom’ door shut behind them.  
“That was,” Dan began.  
Phil laughed looking at Dan’s face, “They’re a lot. Especially when drunk.”  
Dan only shrugged and looked around the room. It was bare but so was every other room in Virago. A dirty mattress on the floor but he had one at least, a broken dresser but the window let in all the rich orange light from the setting sun.  
“Tell me about them. Tell me about you.”

Phil launched into telling Dan about his past. About how his father died for protesting the Salvatore’s, how his mother died when he was young and ill, how the people downstairs welcomed him and how they stole and made profit together.  
“You know,” Phil began, “they gave me this room ‘cause when I was younger I said I liked the view. I said it reminded me of how the kingdom should be and they liked that.”  
Dan stood from the bed to stand beside Phil to look out the window.

The view was breathtaking. The sun was about to set on the sparkling sea, glimmers of light reflected off the ocean. Rosy pink and warm golds painted the sky intertwining with ribbons of cloud that birds glided through effortlessly. The city bustled below, people striding along the paths and for a moment it seemed everything is at peace. 

“I agree with younger you.” Dan breathed.  
Phil turned to look at Dan and smiled, and for a moment Dan’s heart stopped then it started to beat furiously. He looked so at ease, a sight so rare to see on anyone anymore. Dan felt his face begin to heat when he realised he was staring but he couldn’t help staring at the deep ocean in Phil’s eyes. Phil looked back out towards the window, and Dan followed his gaze and gasped quietly when he felt Phil’s hand slip into his. 

“I’d sell stolen souvenirs on the pier down there.” Phil pointed out, his finger directed to the wooden walkway into the ocean. “For tourists y’know. Just before they left to go home. I’d convince them to buy one for each of their little nieces and nephews.”  
“If I pointed out a place do you think you’d be able to tell me a story about it?”  
Phil nodded, and the pair stood there telling stories ‘til dusk.

“Are you scared to leave?” Dan whispered staring out to the beginnings of nightfall.  
“A little,” Phil shrugged. “But there’s nothing here to hold me, no one that I owe. I wanna see a new place, fly somewhere else. It’s gone to shit here, life is hard and money’s getting harder to come by, legally at least. But at least, tonight, there’s a sky and quite the view.”

They stared at the setting sun, as the sky shed its’ colourful coat of rosy pinks, rich yellows and deep oranges and revealed drapes of dark cobalt, swirled with navy and pinpricked with silver. Phil only let go of their softly intertwined hands to light a candle and when Dan raised a brow and jokingly asked if they were too poor to afford lighting Phil laughed and said yes; which made Dan’s heart sink.

Phil had lived a life on his own, no one to hold him close, no one to press kisses to his forehead when he felt vulnerable and that made Dan’s heartache. At least he had the orphanage where Mama Christy made sure they all had a bed no matter how lumpy the mattress was. The orphanage while crowded and a bit chaotic was Dan’s childhood home with warm soups in the winter, games outside in the summer and giggling while doing tiresome chores. 

“So,” Phil began, “name all your aunts and uncles. Full names.”  
“I don’t want to do this tonight,” Dan sighed, “could we just… talk about nothing for once?”  
“For once?” Phil smirked, “Only once?”  
Dan felt his face flush uncomfortably, “Maybe more than once then.”  
Phil laughed and sank into the mattress, “Maybe more than once.”

They stared at each other in the candlelight and silence, faces warm, hands inching closer together and hearts beating hard. 

“I have something for you,” Phil said, breaking the silence  
Dan’s eyes lit up reflecting something other than candlelight.  
“Close your eyes and put your hand out.” 

Phil pulled the music box out of his coat pocket. It had been months, and he still couldn’t get the damn thing to open. Felix had said it was a fake, but it was the only thing that could connect Dan to the Howell family, so they had kept it anyway, fake or not. Phil placed it in Dan’s hands and felt his heart race as Dan’s face lit up at the sight of something so alluring and for a moment Phil didn’t care that it was a fake. 

“What is it?” Dan asked, his voice breathy.  
“It’s a music box I think. But I can’t even open it.”  
Dan turned away from Phil, toward the candlelight and Phil for a little while Phil didn’t say anything.  
Phil saw Dan reach into his own coat pocket, then the gentle flick of pages turning, heard the soft clink of a chain and a whirring sound of cogs turning. A delicate tinkle came out of a music box. 

“How did you do that?” Phil breathed, his voice laced with awe.  
Dan turned around to face Phil, eyes full of excitement and aglow with wonder.  
“The engravings on the bottom,” Dan began as he delicately traced the words on the base of the music box and Phil’s eyes followed, “the words, they match the ones in my journal.” Phil’s eyes flicked down at Dan’s journal and couldn’t help but notice the cover had the same pattern as the music box. But Dan was right, on the pages of his journal, looping letters were inscribed. “I wrote this song at the orphanage, it was cold and Mama Christy had just read us all a story about some bear finding his family and I was just feeling inspired I guess.” Dan explained with a shrug.  
“That doesn’t explain how you opened the music box.” Phil stated not bothering to wince at the bluntness of his tone.  
“My journal is locked with this key,” Dan pointed out, his fingers looping around a chain on his neck were a key dangled. It matched the pattern of the journal and the music box too Phil noticed. Phil nudged closer to Dan to inspect the words. 

_Dancing bears,_  
_Painted wings,_  
_Things I almost remember,_  
_And a song someone sings,_  
_Once Upon a December._

_Someone holds me safe and warm,_  
_Horses prance through a silver storm,_  
_Figures dancing gracefully,_  
_Across my memory._

_Someone holds me safe and warm,_  
_Horses prance through a silver story,_  
_Figures dancing gracefully,_  
_Across my memory._

_Far away, long ago,_  
_Glowing dim as an ember,_  
_Things my heart,_  
_Used to know,_  
_Things it used to remember._

_And a song someone sings,_  
_Once Upon a December._

“Where did you get your journal, Dan?” Phil asked.  
Dan was silent for a moment, his gaze unmoving from the music box in his hand.  
“Dan?”

“It was found with me.” Dan breathed, “the orphanage, they said it was in my coat when they rescued me.”  
The silence returned between them, the tinkles of the music box had ceased. Phil raised his hand to cup Dan’s soft cheek. 

“Dan…” Phil breathed,  
“Hmmmm?”  
Phil inched closer, feeling the warmth of Dan’s body, his breath, and his heartbeat. Phil was lost in the chocolate pool of Dan’s eyes and… there was a knock at the door. 

Heart sinking the pair pulled away from each other.  
“We’ve got food if you two want any!” someone bellowed from the other side of the door.  
Heart returning to a normal rhythm and trying to ignore the disappointment that had settled in his stomach Phil stood up and with Dan by his side, they stumbled down the creaky stairs to join the others.

~~~~

Dinner was loud and rowdy but at the same time cosy and homely. Laughter filled the air as people dipped stolen stale bread into bland but hot and filling soup. Gossip snaked through the air, but Dan didn’t pay too much attention to it. Gossip and rumors almost always amounted to nothing.

“Oscar did you hear His Royal Majesty,” someone began in a mocking tone, “doubled security at the International Station at the North West Border.”

Dan and Phil’s stomachs dropped. If Gabriel was closing borders, they might not even make out of Virago, let alone make it to Amissia.  
“Says it’s for ‘security’ but we all know it’s bullshit.” the person continued, “ He doesn’t want any of us leaving and telling everyone that this place has gone to shit since the Howell’s died, even then it was pretty shit, but at least we could leave.”  
Phil took Dan’s hand tight in his own and pulled them both up to their feet.  
“Excuse us,” Phil mumbled as he tugged Dan back up to his old bedroom.

They both knew what was on the others mind as they scrambled up the stairs, worried thoughts flitting between the two, anxieties clawing at the edge of their minds.  
“How soon do you think we can go?” Dan blurted out as soon as the door was shut. “If he’s doubling security at the borders then we need to be out of her as soon as possible.” Dan reached deep into one of his pockets and grabbed Phil’s hand.  
“Here,” Dan said, pushing a small crumple of notes into Phil’s palm, “I worked an extra shift this last week it’s not much, but every little bit counts. Also, I’m getting paid tomorrow morning, so I’ll give that to you as soon as I can.” 

Phil stared down at the notes in his hand, it was barely enough for a loaf of bread, let alone exit papers and train tickets.  
“We’re not even close,” Phil said, his voice filled with sorrow.  
“What are you saying?” Dan asked, his voice quiet.  
“I thought I could get us out before they started cracking down on borders,” Phil admitted  
“You were the only hope I had!” Dan cried.  
There must be someone else that can help you I’m sorry.” Phil declared, pushing the money back into Dan’s hands.  
“No, I don’t want your money!”  
“It’s your money!”  
“It’s our money! I trusted you!”  
“I said I was sorry!” Phil exclaimed, turning away from Dan, striding away from Dan to look back out the window. 

“Could you, could you close your eyes and put your hand out?” Dan murmured softly  
With a deep sigh, Phil complied.  
He felt Dan come close, and his heart began to flutter, and he felt something cold and hard pressed firmly into his hand.  
“Alright open them.” 

When Phil opened his eyes, he had to do a double take. There was no way, no way on Earth that Dan had given Phil that. Pinching it between his fingers, Phil held it up to the light.  
“It’s a diamond.” He breathed.  
Dan nodded, “Mama Christy found it sewn in my coat. The one I was found in. She told me not to tell anyone that I had it unless I had to. I didn’t know anybody… until now that I could trust.”  
“So you’ve had it. All this time?” Phil pressed. “And you didn’t tell us.”  
“Yes.”  
“Why wouldn’t you tell us? We could’ve been on our way by now?”  
“Because I didn’t know anything about you? Why would I give it away to a pair of complete strangers?! Without it I have nothing!”  
“How do you know that I won’t run off with it right now and you’ll never see me again?”  
“Because I trust that you won’t.”

There was a moment of silence between them.  
Then Phil swept Dan into a tight hug, laughter falling from his lips and breath light with relief.  
“Let’s get this to Felix,” Phil said, taking a small step away from Dan, his voice breathy. “He’ll know what to do with it.” 

~~~~

They sold the diamond that night, and Dan’s heart clenched at the sight of seeing it go. It was one of the few things strings he had that connected him to his past. When the trio walked away, their small bags filled with coins and their pockets lined with notes Dan clutched the key around his neck tightly through its shirt, running his fingers along the engraved swirls. 

Purchasing tickets and exit papers was easy with the profit they had procured, but Dan still insisted on getting his wages from the cafe even if Felix laughed and said that they didn’t need them anymore. Dan still wanted to say a final goodbye to the place that felt more like home then his one-room apartment in Virago ever was. 

The three of them were sat on a bench, huddled together, Dan’s heart pounding, Felix’s eyes staring into the distance, a small smile on his face and Phil reading some pamphlet he found about Amissia.  
“Apparently all the nobles have secret train stations linking to one another so they can escape safely if an emergency were to occur” Phil read aloud.  
“That’s bullshit,” Felix chuckled, “If it were true how come all the Howell’s are dead now and we’re trying to escape the country?”  
“I’m still here or do you think the money for those tickets just fell from the sky.” Dan retorted.  
Felix flushed but as he opened his mouth to respond an announcement went over the speakers.  
“The 7:30 train for Amissia has arrived at Platform 9, the 7:30 train for Amissia, Platform 9.”  
“That’s us.” Felix gasped, standing up in a rush, gathering his things. “Come one then! Let’s go!” He chided, already starting to make his way.  
‘  
“What’s he so excited about?” Dan asked as he stood up.  
“His old girlfriend is in Amissia, she’s good friends with the Dowager Queen. He’s been bumbling for a chance to see her again ever since he found out she was still alive.”  
“How’d he know that she was still around?”  
Phil went to explain how Marzia’s name rose to fame for fashion and how Felix nearly cried when he saw her name in the magazines and how he went to shops just to see her name on the label and refused to steal anything of hers. 

Dan stared at Phil the whole time, admiring how the sun from the overhead windows looked on his face, how it made his eyes gleam and how stunning it made his side profile appear. 

~~~~

Terror flooded through Dan’s veins as he handed his ticket and exit papers over to the border agent as he tried his very best to not let his hands shake. The trio let out a collective sigh as they were granted access onto the train and flopped onto the seats of their carriage with relief. 

With the sound of the train chugging along the track as background noise, with his hands shaking and his heart thundering, Dan pulled his journal from the inner pocket of his coat and began to write. The pen trembled in his hands, so he took a deep breath and clutched it tighter in his hand. He didn’t want to forget this moment no matter if the Dowager Queen accepted him as her grandson or not.

He wrote about how he gave up his diamond, one of the few things that could trace him back to his past and how he felt giving up and how he dearly hoped that giving up his diamond would lead him to bigger discoveries about who he was. Dan’s mind began to drift as he closed his journal and his eyes wandered over to Phil sitting on the other side of the compartment, head in a book, glasses low on the bridge of his nose. Dan felt his face flush as he realised how attractive Phil looked when he was in his own little world, and Dan felt the back of his neck begin to warm along with his cheeks. Dan turned away, willing his cheeks to cool but for a moment he thought about pressing his own lips to Phil’s. He imagined how he would taste, how holding Phil close would feel, and his heart began the flutter fiercely at the thought. 

Phil tried not to be obvious as he watched Dan writing in his diary. He tried to ignore the way Dan bit his bottom lip as he tried to think of what to write. Phil tried to steady his racing heart and tried to stomp away the fluttering of butterflies in his stomach when he thought of Dan. Dan who was warm and inviting, Dan with the constellations of freckles scattered delicately across his face. Phil felt his face flush as he thought of pressing hot kisses to Dan’s neck, how he might react, maybe he would gasp as Phil nipped his lips under the warm covers, maybe he might whine as Phil teased him just so. Phil shook his head, ridding his mind of things that would never happen. ‘Get a grip!’, he thought to himself taking a deep breath. His heart soon steadied, his cheeks returning to their normal colour but no matter how long he stared at Dan there was still the flutter of butterflies in his stomach. 

~~~~

The trio had been lucky enough to pool enough funds for a carriage of their own and with no worry about eavesdroppers they began to quiz Dan again on everything they could, the habits of Prince Daniel Howell, the Howell Family History, how to behave like a royal even their cover story they would present to the Dowager Queen. It was then Felix posed a question to Dan that he had never thrown into the air before. 

“Your Majesty,” Felix began with a tone of gentle authority. Dan responded with a hum that Felix had taught him that was just on the right side of polite but gave him a sense of likability.  
“How did you escape the rampage of the Howell Family Palace that led to the unfortunate demise of your family members?”  
Dan immediately furrowed his brows and turned his gaze towards the floor. He didn’t know how to respond to such a question. How was he meant to know how Prince Daniel had escaped? After staying quiet for what felt like eternity, he decided to just make it up.  
“Well, I ran away from the ballroom and I think I made it to the kitchens. It was chaos in there too.” Dan began as his mind painted an acrylic painting in his mind that felt all too real.  
“And I remember there was a boy… a boy who came out of the wall and he led me down a secret passage that let me to the gardens.” Dan finished as everything in his minds’ eye had faded to watercolour once more. 

Felix applauded his performance with a jeer, congratulating on how believable it was while Dan tried to understand the watercoloury image of the boy he had imagined and Phil sat aside in show with his heart in his stomach. 

~~~~

The day continued on as a landscape of grey skies and dull sunlight shining on new shrubs bled into night, a sea of swirling blues and indigos with silver stars twinkling their hellos from above and the white moon shining, it’s pearly light reflecting off blades of grass in a meadow.  
Felix had gone off to find a midnight snack, and Phil could feel his eyelids growing heavier with each passing minute.

Phil watched as Dan let out a yawn and not so long after Phil copied the action. Phil dug his only blanket out of his bag.  
“Here,” he offered, “get some sleep. We’ll arrive in the morning.”  
Dan reached out but hesitated, “Won’t you be cold?”  
Phil shrugged, “You’re the royal one here, your needs probably outweigh my own”  
Dan bit his lip, “We don’t know who I am yet, I could just be an orphan like you. Besides, it’s your blanket.”  
Without another thought, Phil plopped himself next to Dan throwing the blanket over the pair of them.  
“We’ll share then,” Phil whispered huskily into Dan’s ear, ignoring the palpitations of his heart as he watched Dan shiver from his words. “It’ll be warmer like this anyway.”  
Dan only nodded and fell asleep quickly, tucking his head into the crook of Phil’s shoulder. Phil tensed as he felt Dan’s arms wind around his waist and held his breath as Dan snuggled closer but slowly relaxed in Phil’s hold, sleep slowly sinking into his body and he too fell asleep. 

And if Felix noticed, he didn’t bring it up the next morning. 

~~~~

Phil stood outside the breakfast cart alongside in Felix in silence, ignoring the tension between them. He knew that Felix had seen him and Dan snuggled close together in the light of the early dawn, but he wasn’t going to bring it up if he could help it.  
“He’ll break your heart Phil.” Felix said, not bothering with small talk.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Phil replied sharply, not bothering to look at Felix, prefering to stare at the purple scarf of the woman in front of him.  
“If they accept him as their Prince they’ll cart him off to be the poster boy of another revolution.” Felix continued, not bothering to address that Phil had said he had no idea what Felix was talking about.  
“They’ll try and make him king again, give him the throne and you’ll never see him again.”  
Phil’s only response was walking forward and plucking a croissant from a tray in silence, ignoring the way Felix’s words made his stomach churn. 

~~~~

Dan woke up to the morning sun shining through the window with only the ghost of Phil’s warmth beside him. As he stretched, he noticed a scrap of paper on the seat opposite.  
gone to find breakfast will be back soon  
phil

With a sigh of relief, Dan sank back in his chair, and the speaker over his head crackled to life.  
“Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be arriving in Amissia in 1 hour, the time of our arrival is 11am.”  
Something sparked within Dan, a crackle of fire in his belly, the realisation that he might finally learn about who he really was. 

Not wanting to forget this moment, no matter what happened with the Dowager Queen, whether she accepted him or not he pulled out his journal. 

_i’m so fucking scared, i dunno if this was the right thing to do. maybe i’m not him after all. I don’t want to fail now, god the thought of being turned away terrifies me. the books say he was courageous you know. well as courageous as a 14-year-old can be. if i really am him please can that lost courage not desert me, not now. people always say life is full of choices, but i didn’t get many in life. i didn’t choose to be an orphan, i didn’t choose to forget everything i know, but i did choose to be here, to come along with phil and felix. no one tells you how scary making choices can make. maybe i’m lucky that i didn’t get to choose a lot, didn’t get to feel how foreboding it is, how big and vast the world feels when you do choose._

_i hope that i’ve made the right choice though. i feel like somewhere down this road, someone’s waiting for me. years of dreams of finding someone can’t be wrong, there’s something in ammissia i just know it. in amissia, arms will open wide for me to fall in, i’ll be safe and wanted and finally at home, where i belong._

_home, love, family. there was once a time i must’ve had time too and i don’t think i will ever stop until i find them. I don’t think i could ever be complete until i find them. i think i’d rather die trying than to die knowing i didn’t try. but i can’t get too ahead of myself i have to take things one step at a time. get to ammissia first, see the dowager queen and see what happens from there. maybe the dowager queen won’t accept me, but who knows where this road may go. but i’m going back to who i was and going on to find my future and thing my heart still needs to know._

_so wherever i go, please let this road be mine, one that leads me to my past. and for it to be one that brings me home at last._


	4. in a crowd of thousands

**part three: in a crowd of thousands**

Felix and Phil came tumbling into the carriage arms laden with breakfast food and smiling together. They told him that they were due to arrive in Amissia in two hours and those two hours flew by with laughter.

The three stepped out onto the platform with grins plastered on their faces, free of the rigid regulations of the home they had left behind. They found a cab quickly, (to their surprise) and were on their way to a modest hotel. How they managed to book one, Dan didn’t know, but Felix assured him it was under control and was one hundred percent legal.  
The hotel lobby itself took Dan’s breath away, with marble floorings that were so polished that you could see your reflection in them if you stared for long enough. A chandelier hung from the ceiling; its’ crystals letting light glitter all around the lobby. Plush couches sat in the corner and bellhops in crisp uniforms strode along, trolleys filled with suitcases, briefcases, and bags. The elevator was lined with mirrors and whisked the three to their floor smoothly, and Dan’s room was just as grand as the lobby. They all had separate rooms, linked together by an interconnecting door. Dan linked to Phil’s and Phil’s linked to Felix’s.

Phil immediately disappeared into his bathroom claiming that he wanted to use the hot water before Felix inevitably used it all in the morning. Felix changed out of his travel clothes into a clean shirt, blazer, and trousers, claiming that he needed to look good for Marzia. She was their golden ticket to meeting the Dowager Queen after all, but Dan had a sneaking suspicion that that wasn’t the only reason that Felix wanted to look dapper.

Dan stood by himself in his room feeling as out of place as one could be. Surely this is not where a ratty orphan with no memories belongs? Maybe he should be back, serving tables in the cold, working for only enough for scraps of food. Maybe he was never supposed to be found, maybe he was supposed to die in the snow on the side of the road. Shaking his head, Dan banished all such thought. Now was not the time, he told himself as he threw open the doors to his balcony before plopping down on the iron wrought chair.  
‘This is where you are now.’ he thought to himself as he stared across the railing of his balcony and to the bustling city.

The sun was setting, saying its’ final goodbyes before it disappeared beneath the horizon, its’ rays of rich gold light shining their final farewells. The wide river of Amissia glistened in the sun’s golden glow. Fluffy clouds floated across the sky filled with rosy pinks, rich yellows, and dark oranges, and with a small cloud of doubt in his heart Dan pulled out his journal and began to write.  
He described the sight before him, with as much detail as he could, painting the sight in front of him using words as best as he could to commit the image to memory.

He talked about the sky, the water, and the bridge. He described the boats heading in, the sun going down, how shadows fell as the quilt of the night was slowly pulled over the sky, the thousands of lights shining below him, and he wrote how he felt. The door behind him creaked open, and he slammed his journal shut and turned around to see Phil; shirtless, hair wet and a towel loosely around his hips. It took all of Dan’s determination to not stare and Phil’s chest and admire the pale expanse of skin. He bit his lip at the thought of pressing hot kisses, his stomach flared at the thought of the whines that he might drag out of Phil and his heart began to pound at the thought of what it must be like, to be able to hold Phil close, to be able to run his hand through Phil’s hair to feel Phil press against him, to feel-

“You should shower, I can get room service,” Phil said, pulling Dan out of his reverie. Silence settled among them, tense and rigid.  
“Because, you know, we can afford that now,” Phil said tentatively.  
Dan forced out a laugh in agreement as he stood up and started ambling towards the bathroom.  
He let out a breath once the door was closed behind him, feeling the tightness of his lungs slowly ebb away. He turned the shower handle fiercely and let the hot water soothe away the tension in his muscles and the longing in his heart.  


~~~~

Marzia collected the letters from the table and knocked gingerly on the study of the Dowager Queen. Waiting for a response, she quickly shuffled through the letters; all were probably young men posing as Daniel Howell. She entered when she heard a resigned “come in” from the elderly woman.  
Every day at 4 pm, the Dowager Queen sat at her desk,cold tea placed on the edge, looking over the bustling city of Amissia.  
“More letters?” she asked, her voice already laced with disappointment.  
“Yes ma’am,” Marzia replied, her heart aching for the old woman, so heartbroken from the loss of her family, “I can dispose of them now if you wish.”  
The Dowager Queen shook her head, and Marzia knew despite all this time, despite all the men posing as Daniel Howell, despite the likelihood that Daniel had died all those years ago, she was still holding on to hope that maybe he had come back to her.  
Marzia read the letters out one by one, and eventually, they all ended up in the bin as the Dowager Queen found flaws in all of them. Details no one knew except her were wrong, where they’re favourite hide and seek spot was, what they stole from the kitchens, what nicknames they had for each other. Marzia knew to leave to the room quickly. She knew that the Dowager Queen preferred to mourn alone.  


~~~~

After she heard the door click, Maria reached for a tissue and began dabbing at her eyes, determined not too shed to many tears. She reached for her journal and began to write. Her previous journals once documented happy memories with her family, but now they were soaked with tears and grief. She couldn’t even bring herself to read her old ones anymore. They were too tainted with cruel reality.

_Every day they come. The Letters. These strangers, they come calling, but soon enough they’re gone. I miss them every day I miss the times we would spend together, the summers that used to last endlessly. Smiling children, running in sand, all coming to me,_  
The imposters are always so shocked when I turn them away. They always seem to have convinced themselves their the act is well done that they could’ve fooled me.  
My heart always drops when I realise the letter is written by an imposter and it becomes more and more clear that Daniel is never coming back home to me. I lie awake every night hoping that maybe he might be out there, maybe he might come running into my arms. But now I see, even though that I have believed so long, that I have dared to let myself hope that maybe my sweet Bear might not be out there at all. I think that perhaps the heartbreak is not worth the minuscule chance. Perhaps I should stop accepting letters and allowing these immoral imposters into my presence. 

The Dowager Queen put her pen down and let out a breath. She called out for Marzia, hoping that the young lady had not left for the night. Marzia did indeed come bumbling in, gloves on and dark, warm coat wrapped around her torso.  
“Yes, your Grace?”  
“Tell them all to go.” The Dowager Queen demanded.  
Marzia pulled a confused face, “Excuse me your Grace?” she said, her questioning tone polite.  
“I don’t want to see men posing as Daniel Howell anymore. Tell them all to go. Tell them they are too late. Tell them I’ve closed the doors.”  
Marzia only nodded, walking away and just as she was about to pull the study door to a close the Dowager Empress called out again.  
“Marzia?”  
Marzia opened the door once again, a smile on her face and Maria couldn’t be gladder that she had a personal assistant that had never let her down.  
“Have a good evening.”  
Marzia smiled, a real one, the Dowager Queen noticed and pulled the door shut and Maria heard the clicks of Marzia’s heels walk away into the busy streets of Amissia and away from an empty home and a lonely old woman.  


~~~~

Felix sauntered into the bar his eyes flicking through the haze of laughter and cheers in the air. He knew what he was looking for and his heart pounded at the mere thought of seeing Marzia again. Marzia with the fine hair that tumbled down her back, Marzia with the perfectly arched brows and the brightest smile he’d ever seen in his life. He wandered around the bar for what felt like hours, eyes flicking from person to person until his eyes fell upon her. His Marzia still beautiful as ever in a pink dress decorated with lace, her head thrown back in laughter then her eyes met his, and the world stood still.

To Felix nothing mattered except for the fact that his beautiful Marzia, the one he left behind, the one who stole his heart was right here in front of him, gorgeous and happy and safe. He was jerked out of his daydream when he heard the clicking of heels approaching him, and Marzia was stood in front of him, eyebrows drawn tight and hands on her hips.  
“What are you doing here?” she asked, urgency in her voice.  
“Was in town and decided to pop in,” Felix answered, hoping his grin hid any sign of nervousness on his face.  
Marzia responded by grabbing his hand and dragging him outside where chilly air bit into the cheeks and windswept their hair.

“You’re still just as beautiful as you before,” Felix said in an attempt to break the silence between them.  
Marzia let out a chuckle as she kicked at the gravel path watching the cloud of dust puff up into the air and dissipate.  
“I thought you were dead.” She finally said, “I thought I’d never see you again.”  
Felix’s felt his heart break, he had made Marzia leave, he insisted upon it, and he’d promised her that he’d find her again as soon as he could. Taking her by the waist and pulled her close, Felix whispered into her ears, his breath barely disturbing the soft curls of hair by her ear.  
“I’m sorry I had to stay behind, I’m sorry I took so long, but I promised I’d find you and I’m here now.”  
Tears began to drip from Marzia’s eyes, and Felix leaned in to gently kiss them away, whispers of apology on his lips.  
“Do you remember when we first met? At that state dinner?” Felix asked.  
“How could I forget?” Marzia laughed, her head tossed back, “You almost dropped your champagne glass when you saw me.” 

Felix laughed fondly at the memory and placed a gentle kiss upon Marzia’s lips, revelling at her gasp of surprise and when he pulled away his heart fluttered at the awe and fondness in her face. The pair soon settled into easy chatter, chuckles and soft kisses were frequent and an easy sense of peace fell over them.  
“So…” Felix began nerves rushing through his veins. He didn’t want to bring this up with Marzia, not now, not when things felt so right. but they came to Amissia for a purpose and Phil deserved his share of his rewards money, even though Felix would give it all up to spend the rest of his life with Marzia like this, at peace, and with no obligation except to each other.  
“So?” Marzia responded, a brow raised. 

“I came here with some friends…” Felix continued while Marzia still held her gaze, her perfectly arched brow still raised. “And we were wondering if… well… we were wondering if you could help… use get an audience with the Dowager Queen.”  
Marzia immediately recoiled, disgust on her face.  
“Is that why you came to see me? Just to get the pile of reward money?” Marzia spat.  
“No, no, no not at all,” Felix begged as he reached for Marzia’s hand. “I’d give away all the reward money if that’s what it cost to be with you.”  
Marzia slackened when she heard that, turning back towards Felix, wariness on her face.  
“It’s just… Phil came all this way too, he deserves what he came here for.”  
“And what about the poor boy you’ve brought all this way to try and trick an old lady?”  
Felix didn’t have an answer prepared for that.

Silence settled between them, and it wasn’t the comfortable kind from earlier.  
“I’ll help you. He deserves a chance just like every other young man.”  
Felix couldn’t help but pull her into his arms, a sense of thanks and love overwhelming him.  
“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” He babbled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead between his words, relishing in the soft giggles that escaped Marzia’s lips.  
“The Dowager and I are going to the ballet tomorrow. I might be able to get some more tickets,and maybe you can see her after the show.”  
“Marzia you’re the best.” Felix breathed before swooping to capture another kiss.  
Marzia wrapped her arms around Felix’s neck.  
“But-” she gasped between kisses, “I’ll need to see him first. I’m taking him out all day tomorrow, make sure he knows how to act, get him something appropriate to wear, get him groomed.”  
“Stay at our hotel.” Felix panted, “you can take him out first thing in the morning.”  
Marzia only kissed him harder, and Felix took that as a yes.

~~~~

He was back in the palace. It was clear of dust cobwebs and disarray, but the eeriness still lurked in the corridors and mystery was still entwined with the walls. Echoes of voices swirled in his ears.  
_“Have you said your goodbyes my dear Daniel?” someone whispered behind him._  
_Dan whipped around to see nothing but a dark empty hallway with candles flickering on the walls. With a deep breath, he kept walking, wandering deeper and deeper into the labyrinth of corridors. He came to a wall of portraits, people in lavish gowns rich with jewels and embroidery. He knew those faces. They were the royal family._  
_“Do you want to know a secret?” someone giggled_  
_Dan gasped and jerked around to see a young boy in a painting speak to him. That was… that was Charles, his best friend._  
_“I’m going to die soon.” the boy tittered, “do you have a secret?”_  
_Dan opened and closed his mouth repeatedly,_  
_“I don’t know who I am,” he admitted finally._  
_“That’s silly,” the boy in the portrait laughed, “everyone knows who they are.”_  
_“Remember us Daniel.” a woman in the portrait urged._  
_Soon all Dan could hear were whispers and words in his ears, they swirled in his head, he felt himself drowning in the voices. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t escape, he couldn’t do anything._

Dan woke up with a scream to a dark bedroom, alone and surrounded by twisted bedsheets. Phil burst into his room, concern on his face.  
“Are you okay?” Phil asked, worry on his voice.  
“Just nightmares,” Dan confessed, his voice timid, his hands shaky.  
“And that’s all they are Dan; they’re just nightmares they can’t hurt you.” Phil soothed, sitting on Dan’s bed. 

The pair sat in comfortable quiet, watching the moon, shine, and stars twinkle in the night sky.  
“Do you really think I might be him, Phil?” Dan asked, finally breaking the silence between them.  
Dan didn’t say a word as Phil took a moment to respond.  
“I want to believe you were the little boy I saw all those years ago.”  
“You’ve seen him?” Dan asked, his eyebrows raised.  
Phil nodded his lip between his teeth, eyes staring at the carpet.  
“Tell me about it.” Dan smiled. 

“I worked at the palace, and it wasn’t an uncommon sight to see the royal family around the corner. I always kept my head down though, it was the easiest way to keep the job and out of trouble.” Phil began, “But the first time I saw him it was the middle of June, I was twelve. There was a parade, one to celebrate the summer harvest, and the royal family was in a carriage on their own. He sat straight as a prince should. He would’ve been maybe eight, but already he was so proud and serene. I started to chase after him, I called out his name, and the crowd on the road went wild. It’s been over ten years, and I still don’t know why I did it. I did get really close to him, so close that I could’ve touched his carriage, but I reached out my hand and looked up. He gave me the biggest smile anyone ever given me.” Phil said, looking fondly at the ground. 

“What happened then?” Dan pressed like a child being read a bedtime story.  
“Well the parade kept moving,” Phil shrugged, “with the sun in my eyes, he was gone, but I had a feeling that if someday, I’d find him again.”  
Phil looked up to stare at Dan who had edged closer while he was talking. Phil realised how beautiful he really was despite the nightmares and the moonlight, the chocolate pools of his eyes, the light sprinkle of freckles across his face and the softness of his lips.

“You make me feel like I was there too,” Dan confessed with a smile.  
Phil’s heart began to flutter at the sight of the dimples in Dan’s smile,  
“Maybe you were,” Phil shrugged, “Make it a part of your story.”

Dan stared at him blankly at first then his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.  
“So a parade,” Dan stated his voice unsure.  
“A parade,” Phil confirmed.  
“Passing by….”  
“Passing by.”  
“It was hot, not a cloud in the sky and there was a boy, who called out my name and I turned around to look at him.”  
Phil nodded, a wordless motion for Dan to continue.  
“He was thin and not too clean,” Dan smirked.  
“Hey!” Phil protested as he elbowed Dan in the ribs. Dan laughed deeply, and Phil’s heart swelled at the sound.  
“There were guards,” Dan continued, “but he ran between them, to catch up to us in the carriage. He called out my name while he was running…” Dan stopped.  
“What is it?” Phil asked.  
“I tried not to smile, I really did, but then he bowed.”  
Silence fell over the pair once again.  
“I didn’t tell you that.” Phil professed.  
“You didn’t have to.” Dan breathed, his voice raspy with excitement. “I remember!”  
The blurry watercolours of Dan’s memories had cleared to a pristine photograph, muddy thoughts now clear as day and a twelve year old Phil untarnished in his mind. 

“You’re… really him…” Phil said, finally. Dan looked up to see Phil staring at him an amazed look on his face. Dan, still whirling with memories clearer than ever didn’t know what to say.

“Is that okay?” he finally answered, cautious.  
Phil leaned closer to Dan as courageousness washed over him and wrapped an arm around Dan’s waist and soon his face was not even inches away from Dan’s.  
“Is this okay?” Phil breathed quietly, his lips only millimetres away from Dan’s. Dan nodded eagerly as he brought his enclosed his arms around Phil’s neck forcing Phil’s lips closer to his.  
“It’s most definitely okay.”

Phil finally pressed his lips to Dan’s and relished in the soft feeling of Dan’s lips on his. His heart fluttered when he felt Dan sigh into his lips, and he couldn’t help himself as he pressed Dan back into his mattress. He felt complete and at home with Dan like this. Without releasing his lips from Dan’s he pulled the plush heavy covers of Dan’s bed over him, shielding them from the world outside, keeping them safe, hidden and comfortable, even if it was just for a night.

“I knew,” Phil said between kisses.  
“I knew even then wherever you were, lost in a castle or in a crowd of thousands, I’d find you again.”  


~~~~

Dan rose to see the sun just peeking from above the horizon, its’ light shining through the window and birds gliding across the sky. He sighed and let himself sink back into the plush duvet, the warmth and… Phil. Dan felt his face flush at the memories of last night, memories of Phil, Phil holding him from behind, Phil from when he was twelve; hot and sweaty in the sun, Phil pressing their lips together, Phil holding him close, Phil falling asleep with him, limbs intertwined.

But then Dan began to panic… was last night just accident? Maybe Phil was acting on a whim, maybe sleep deprivation wasn’t letting Phil think straight, was Dan allowed to have a significant other if he was a prince, would Phil want to stay with Dan, maybe Phil was pretending so Dan would believe that he could be the Prince of-  
Phil made a snuffling sound and pulled Dan tighter into his chest, and Dan complied feeling a wave of drowsiness fall over him, and he closed his eyes allowing sleep to take all his worries away.  


~~~~

Phil rose to the sun high in the sky, with a snuffle he flopped over onto his back and stretched his limbs, groaning at the comfort of a soft bed, a something he rarely encountered. He reached an arm out, scouting for Dan, craving his warmth and the softness, but he was met with cold sheets on an empty bed. Bolting up he cried “Dan, are you there? Where are you?”  
“He’s gone out Phil!” Felix yelled, dressed in nothing but a bathrobe, a few steps from the bathroom.  
“Out? Out where?” Phil pressed.  
“He’s gone out with Marzia, she’s taking him clothes shopping, aka her favourite thing to do. We’re meeting them at the theatre.”  
“The theatre?”  
“We’re going to the ballet tonight and Marzia’ arranged for us to have an audience with the Dowager Queen afterwards,” Felix said as he stepped into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  
“Felix I have to tell you something!” Phil yelled as he ran to the door.  
“Not now Philip!” Felix responded, “I haven’t had access to this much hot water in years, and I intend to make the most of it! There’s money on my bedside, go find yourself some breakfast.”  
Phil ends up spending the rest of his morning and early afternoon strolling through a botanic garden, feeding on an assortment of pastries he had bought his head only filled with Dan. Dan, Dan, Dan, Dan who is the real Prince Daniel Howell of Virago, Dan who he had saved all those years ago, Dan who had waved from the carriage in the parade, Dan with his soft lips, deep eyes and luscious lashes. Dan who he could not have, Phil realised as his stomach sank.

Dan was the real Daniel James Howell of Virago, that meant that his Grandmother would not only recognise him but take him and raise him to be a noble. And nobles did not belong aside conmen.  
When Phil returned to the hotel midday had long past and the warmth of late afternoon had settled upon the city. Children giggled as they were let out of school, dogs were being walked, and birds flew across the clear sky. Phil was planning to tell Felix the truth, that Dan was the real Daniel Howell and that he didn’t want to be a part of this anymore, he couldn’t stand being so close to Dan knowing that he had a whole life to live, one that Phil couldn’t be apart of. He would rather bow out gracefully now when the hurt wasn’t so tender and delicate then to be ripped away from Dan later.  
He opened the door to their suite to see the room bustling with people, tape measures over their shoulders, fabric piled high in their arms, pencils tucked behind ears and pens stuck in wispy buns.  
“Phil!” Felix called from a pedestal, surrounded by people deep in conversation who were rapidly taking down notes, pinning pins into Felix’s form delicately, holding fabric up against his body and measuring him intricately. “Marzia sent over some tailors! We’re getting new custom-made suits for the ballet tonight!” 

Without Phil saying a word he was swept away to be measured, fitted and pinned, to be given a suit made just for him, when the only thing he wanted was to be tucked in bed with Dan again, safe from the world breathing each other's breaths. He couldn’t deny though, that the tailors did an excellent job. The sun was just beginning to dip below the sky as he stared at himself in the mirror, all clean lines and shiny shoes. The tailors had dressed him in a classic crisp white shirt, with a perfectly fitting black suit, with just a touch of cobalt blue lining his lapel and breast pocket.  
“Phil!” Felix cried, “I’m getting room service! What do you want!”  
“I’ll have whatever you’re having,” Phil replied, his voice timid, he had to tell Felix, he couldn’t not.

Felix was gently hooking his jacket in his wardrobe and was fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves. “Felix.”  
No response.  
“Felix.” Phil pressed, urgency filling his tone.  
“What is it, Phil!” Felix huffed, flicking his hair out of his eyes as he turned his head towards Phil.  
“Dan is the real one.”  
“What do you mean ‘the real one’”  
“I mean he’s the real Prince Daniel Howell. What he said about escaping through the hole in the wall is true, he didn’t make it up. I was the servant that helped him escape. You know how I told you I’ve only bowed once in my life, and that was when I was a little boy and didn’t know better? I bowed to him, and Dan remembered that. He remembers things only the real Daniel Howell would know. We did it, we found the real one.” 

Silence settled among them and then Felix broke into a grin.  
“Well that’s all the better isn’t it! The Dowager Queen gets what she’s been looking for, and you get your reward!”  
“My reward?” Phil said, his voice puzzled. “Don’t you mean our reward?”  
Felix only smiled wider, “Marzia’s hoping that maybe my reward can be staying with her. If it all works out, the money is all yours Phil. Do whatever you want with it.”  
“And what about Dan?”

Felix shrugged, “He wanted to find his family if this pulls through he’s gonna get it. He’ll live the rest of his life, alongside his grandmother, like he always wanted.”  
‘And he’ll never be allowed to see me again,’ Phil thought to himself. How stupid did he think that he could have it all? To have money and both the boy he so desperately desired. Princes don’t belong with con men, they belong with other nobles. Nobles who knew how to court someone properly, nobles who have never done an illegal thing in their life. The soft kisses from last night was all he was gonna get, he shouldn’t try his luck for more.  
Dinner arrived and the pair ate in silence, one filled with anticipation for the treasures the night ahead might hold, and the other filled with dread with what he could lose.

~~~~

When they arrived at the theatre, Phil couldn’t help but stare at the stunning sight of it all. The stained glass windows, the delicately arranged bouquets, the grand marble staircase that encircled the lobby, the plush dark red carpet that lined the floor, the glamourous intricate chandelier that hung from the ceiling bathing everything his eyes saw in a soft gold light.

Felix had left him loitering by the staircase while he went off to find Marzia and to even out the details of what they were to do when the curtain fell, when the lights went up and when they would complete what they started. Stomach filled with apprehension and nerves Phil began to worry his lip between his teeth, and he moved his gaze down to stare at his newly shined shoes. One of his laces had come undone, and Phil bent down to tie it back up, his hands itching for something to do, nerves filling his bloodstream and uneasiness filling his stomach.  
He froze when he saw another pair of glossy shoes enter into his view, along with the hem of a pair of cobalt blue trousers. He let his gaze rise as he stood up himself and he felt his heart stuttering at the sight of Dan in the light of the lobby.

Marzia had done her job well as Dan was sporting a fresh new haircut yet the curls on his head were still soft and slightly untamed. But what Phil couldn’t stop staring at was the suit that Dan was dressed in, a cobalt blue suit that complimented Dan perfectly in every way. How it tapered in slightly at the waist, how the slim trim of sparkle on the lapel brought out the sparkle in his eyes and dear god, Phil struggled to process how attractive Dan looked. 

“You look- you look wonderful.” Phil finally managed to stutter out, feeling heat rise to his cheeks as he offered out his arm.  
“So do you,” Dan smiled, his voice timid as he tucked his arm under Phil’s and starting leading Phil away from the lobby but not into the auditorium, down a hallway, and around a corner.  
“Do you have tickets?” Dan asked.  
“Yeah,” Phil mumbled in reply, “Dan where are we going?”

Suddenly Dan pushed him up against the wall and pressed his lips to Phil and Phil couldn’t do anything but let out a surprised gasp and melt into Dan. Dan’s lips moved against his in a way no one else’s did. Dan’s kisses couldn’t compare to the rushed nights the air heavy with lust and thick with alcohol. Dan’s kisses were like soft rose petals in the spring and the gentle lapping of waves in the summer. Phil softly threaded his hands through Dan’s soft curls, and urged him closer and Dan responded eagerly.

“You might want to get your hands out of my hair, Marzia might have an aneurysm,” Dan whispered in between kisses.  
“What if I don’t want to?” Phil responded with a sly smile.  
“I won’t be too mad,” Dan said, connecting their lips together again, “but you’ll probably have to endure her wrath.”  
Phil responded by bring his hands to Dan’s neck and pulling him in for another kiss.  
They were suspended in their own little bubble, where responsibilities didn’t exist, where the only thoughts being thought were about each other and where time was thick like caramel and kisses were just as sweet.

Far away the echo of the chime of a clock rang, it’s sound winding its way down the hall to Dan and Phil, still intertwined, limbs tangled, bodies pressed together and lips only millimeters apart  
“We should go.” Phil whispered, softly pushing Dan away, “They’ll be waiting for us.”  
Dan responded with a nod but didn’t pull his hand away from Phil’s, only tugging Phil along, down the hall into the auditorium.  


~~~~

The audience was settling into their seats, and a soft mumble of chatter enveloped the room, even though Dan loved the theatre, loved the memories of putting on shows with the other orphans at the orphanage, loved pretending to be someone else, he couldn’t settle his nerves. Then his eyes fell upon the balcony, where the Dowager Queen sat, Marzia by her side and the army of wriggly caterpillars transformed into a bundle of violent butterflies. Unable to keep still any longer, he pulled out his journal and a pen from his inner breast pocket and began to scribble down his thoughts.  
_can this be the evening? can this really, truly be the place? am i dreaming? I never thought i could get this close to finding out who i truly am. this is everything i’ve ever wanted, to have my past and my future so near. whatever happens tonight, i’ll be closer to finding out who i truly am._  
The house lights dimmed, and Dan allowed himself be swept away in the magic of the theatre, he let himself leave any thought behind and watched the stage.  


~~~~

As the curtain rose, Phil saw Dan put his journal away, saw him tucking it safely back into his jacket pocket and they both turned their gaze to the dancers on stage, gliding and leaping across with such ease. But Phil saw how Dan’s gaze kept flicking from the dancers to him to the Dowager Queen in her seat. Even in the dim light of the auditorium, he could see the terror in Dan’s eyes and the way he bit his lip in unease.

As subtly as he could, he pulled out his own journal and in the dimness of the auditorium he began to write.  
_Next to me, I can tell how frightened Dan is, he’s terrified you can see it in this eyes as he watches the dancers whirl. But we have to keep our nerve and see this through, it’s what we’ve come to do._

Phil looked towards Dan again, and his heart broke at the sight of Dan so worried, the way his brows furrowed in concern, so he slipped his journal back into his pocket. Phil could feel the cogs of thought whirring in Dan’s brain, could feel his nerves, could feel the anxiety in his bloodstream and in an attempt to ease him, Phil inched his hand towards Dan’s and tendering slipped their fingers together and gave them a comforting squeeze. His heart fluttered when Dan squeezed back.

The curtain fell, and the house lights rose at the end of Act 1, and before Phil could do anything, he was being tugged to his feet by Dan and pulled out of the auditorium and into a dark corner of the theatre where no one could interrupt them. 

Tucked away from prying eyes Dan pressed his lips to Phil’s and Phil couldn’t help but gasp and return the kiss with gentle enthusiasm. They spent the intermission together, lips pressed together, bodies pressed flush, hands in each others’ hair, arms wound around each others neck and hearts beating together.  
They returned to the auditorium hand in hand and fingers intertwined, but Phil kept remembering that this wouldn’t last forever, that by the end of the night Dan would be miles away from him with a family of his own, a family that could give him so much more than Phil could. 

Princes did not belong aside conmen.


	5. everything to win

**part four: everything to win**

Dancers took their final bow, smiling in the bright light and the curtain fell, and a mumble fell over the audience as everyone rose from their seats and made their way to the exits. Phil, his hand still in Dan’s stood up, Dan rising up with him. People slowly filtered out of the theatre, small chatter floating between them but Dan and Phil stayed where they were, hand in hand, fingers entwined. Soon the auditorium was empty and somehow the tension, the knowledge of what to come filled the whole space.  
“Is it time?” Dan asked, his voice barely a whisper, only slightly audible even in the silence of the auditorium. Phil just nodded, his jaw clenched, knowing that these few moments with Dan might be the only he’d ever have again. Phil untangled his fingers from Dan’s and strode towards the door. He turned around to still see Dan standing at his seat, gazing emptily across the balcony and into the empty seats below. 

The pair dawdled to the foyer where Felix stood waiting for them, his face flushed and giddy and Phil’s heart sunk at the thought of Felix leaving him too. Felix found the woman he chased for years, who was Phil to deny Felix a comfortable lifetime of love? And Dan, Dan was going to his grandmother, his family the one thing he had been looking for his whole life and Phil wasn’t going to stand in the way of that.  
Felix was babbling something to Dan and Phil only heard a few words but enough to string them together.  
“Dan so Marzia’s in there, she’ll introduce you, and hopefully this will work out, and we’ll all be where we belong!” Felix prattled, oblivious to how anxious Dan looked and how reluctant Phil appeared.  
Dan jumped when he heard Marzia’s voice behind him,  
“Dan, it’s time.” 

So Dan raised his eyes to see Phil again, he wanted to see Phil’s eyes full of blue, speckled with yellow and green like the most stunning gem to exist. But Phil was staring down at his shoes and the polished marble of the floor. So with a deep breath, Dan strode to the room where the Dowager Queen was waiting for him leaving Phil behind. 

The second Phil heard the soft click of the door closing he started pacing, running his hands running through his hair, heart racing and pounding. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Felix wringing his hands. Eventually, Felix left the lobby, to go to the bar no doubt, to ease his nerves with alcohol, leaving Phil alone. With shaking hands, Phil pulled out his journal once again and uncapped his pen.

_Dan just left to see his grandmother, and Felix just left for a drink leaving me here alone. What are they saying? I don’t think I want to know. It feels like they’ve been in there forever, but I can’t help but wonder how much longer they’ll be. There’s nothing but silence that could be bad, but maybe I should assume that no news is good news. What were we thinking? That this was a foolproof plan, Nothing is foolproof! But this way, Dan gets a family, Felix gets Marzia, and i can do whatever I want. How could we fail with everything to win? Maybe I should be glad that we’re breaking free, but things have changed. I didn’t realise things had changed, but now I can see they have. I wonder if our paths will ever cross again, maybe fate has plans for us, one meeting across a crowd in the sun, one meeting in havoc and in rescue and one in cold and desperation. The thought of leaving him behind, the thought of never seeing him again, the thought of never having him, I can’t bear it. everything should be falling into place, we all get our wishes, a fairytale comes true. But fate has decided to be funny when I have everything to win, the only thing I lose is the thing I need._

The door clicked shut, and Phil heard the sounds of shoes clicking across the floor and Phil looked up to see Dan. Phil shot up to his feet, but before he could say anything, Dan spoke his voice laced with fire.  
“You didn’t tell me there was a reward for the person who found the Prince.”  
Phil stood statue still, mouth open.  
“‘Tell him to go home Marzia,’” Dan said, his voice full of mocking and his tone scornful, “‘He only wants money and to break an old woman’s heart, I know his kind all too well.”  
“I’ll tell her the truth!” Phil burst out already making his way towards the door, but Dan only stepped in his way.  
“That I was a pawn in a little scheme of yours!” Dan spat, “You only wanted me to get your reward! Not to help me find my family or to reunite a family! You made me feel like I was really him, somebody I never was or ever could be! I was cold and hungry and desperate when I met you Phil, but I was not dishonest. I hate you for what you’ve done.” 

With that, Dan stormed away, wrenching the door open and he disappeared into the dark, cool night, leaving Phil alone.  
“I’m sorry Phil.” Marzia said quietly from behind him, “She refused to-”  
“Has he left?” A voice called from around the corner, and both Phil and Marzia turned around to follow the voice.  
An elderly woman emerged, dressed in plush burgundy velvet, her greying hair twisted into a soft bun  
“Your Royal Grace,” Phil said as he bowed low, “Dan-”  
“I have nothing to say to you young man.” The Dowager Queen spat as she began to turn away to the door. Phil couldn’t bear the thought of letting Dan’s dream slip away into the night, so he ran and stomped on her cape, ignoring Marzia’s gasp of horror that followed. 

“Dan doesn’t want your money!” Phil yelled before she could slip away. “I take full responsibility for bringing him here, bringing him to you.”  
“How very noble of you, but I’m sorry to inform you that I have had enough with con men taking advantage of me and my grief.”  
“I believe with all my heart that Dan is your grandson and the lost Prince! He doesn’t want your money! He just wants your recognition! Your acceptance and to find his family!”  
The Dowager Queen turned around her face steely and disdain in her eyes.  
“I will not stay to be chastised by someone who’s never done something honest in his life. I have lost more than you could ever imagine. I lost my son, his wife, my grandchildren and my entire family.” 

At that moment Phil stepped closer to the Dowager Queen, staring down at her reflecting the steely glare in her eyes with his own.  
“So has Dan. He has lived his entire life alone, wandering the world cold, desperate and he came all the way here to find you, and you turned him away from the door.”  
Phil stepped away from the Queen, letting anger and frustration steel in his bones and fury race through his blood.  
“I hope that you’ll think about what you’ve done tonight for the rest of your life and you regret that you turned away what could’ve been without even looking.”  
And with that, Phil turned his back and stormed into the darkness. 

~~~~ 

Phil walked into their hotel room to see Dan rapidly packing his few belongings into a bag.  
“It was my life you were playing with Phil, I can’t believe I let you do that to me!” Dan turned around, his face furious and desperately Phil tried to take the opportunity to speak,  
“Dan, Dan, I-”  
“You know I admired you for being still being how you are, light, bubbly and gleeful, despite your circumstances but now I hate you for what you tricked me into doing.”  
And with that Dan stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him; still yelling, his words muffled by the wood of the door.  
Phi wanted to tell Dan that maybe they could just run away, leave the mystery of Prince Daniel behind and they could just run away together and find their own happily ever after. But then he heard a gentle knock on the door. Heart low and heavy Phil opened the door only to be shoved aside by Marzia scrambling her way into the room.  
“Is Dan here?” she asked, her voice urgent and curt.  
Phil only gave a confused nod, but then he felt a presence behind him, a soft breath, the swish of a coat, the quiet click of heeled shoes against polished wood. He turned around slowly to come face to face with the Dowager Queen, face still stiff, jaw clenched and steel behind her eyes.  
“Then I would like a word with the young man alone.” 

~~~~ 

“I hope I never see you again Phil, I hope our paths never cross again,” Dan spat as he heaved the bathroom door open with an armful of toiletries, “I hope I’ll forget you and this entire-” Dan stopped. The Dowager Queen was in his hotel room.  
“Your, your Highness…” Dan stuttered as he bowed. She only nodded her head in acknowledgement before beginning to speak.  
“Who are you?” She finally asked, her voice curt and forbidding 

“I-I-believe that I am your Grandson, the lost Prince Daniel.” Dan stuttered out, but the Dowager Queen only raised a brow, so Dan continued. “The only son of the deceased King of-”  
“Oh spare me my family history! It’s in every bookstore in this god forbidden city. Anyone can read it” The Dowager Queen snapped and struck Dan into silence.  
“I didn’t know you were so cold.” Dan finally breathed, letting his words float into the empty space of silence.  
“I’m old and tired of young men trying to take advantage of me. Kindness has become a luxury.” The Dowager Queen replied and only then did Dan realise how tired and forlorn she must’ve felt.  
“My Grandmamma was the kindest person I had ever met,” Dan mumbled, his eyes still focused on the polished wood of the floor.  
“That was before everything she held dear was ripped away from her.” The Dowager Queen bit back, once again stunning the room into silence.  
“My Grandmamma had a special perfume that smelled of orange blossom. I’d smell it every time she’d hug me.” Dan admitted, hoping that the Dowager Queen would just give him a chance. Hoping for a response, Dan dared to look up; to see the Dowager Queen’s reaction and his heart jumped when he saw that she seemed pleasantly surprised. But as quickly as her soft smile appeared it her face fell back into a mask of stone. 

“Who was my favourite lady in waiting?” She asked, her head held high.  
“You didn’t have one you kept dismissing them.”  
And with that silence fell upon the pair again, both of them staring anywhere but each other, both with a desire, a craving to be reunited with their family.  
“Who was-”  
“Why don’t you want me to be him?” Dan interrupted. 

The Dowager Queen let out a deep sigh, and Dan finally felt how tired she must be, how weary she must’ve felt, testing all these young men who broke her heart at the idea of riches; and Dan felt disgusted that he had become one of them.  
“My bitterness doesn’t disappoint me, you Daniels’ always do.” The Dowager Queen sighed.  
“But maybe, maybe if you gave me a chance, I won’t.” Dan breathed, his heart filled with hope even though he tried his best to push it down, he had already had is heart broken today, he didn’t know if he could take another blow.  
“What was your mother’s full title as Queen of-”  
“She was mama to me!” Dan burst out, finally letting tears spill over his eyes. Hot, heavy wet tears that burned, filled with his few blurry memories, ones he desperately clung to, tears filled with memories of Phil, Phil warm by his side, warm in his arms and on his lips, things that he would never experience again.  
“You Daniels always cry, do you rehearse?” The Dowager Queen scoffed. 

“Do you remember the last time you saw Dan?” Dan sniffled, wiping his eyes on a damp sleeve.  
“I didn’t know it would be the last time.” The Dowager Queen mumbled, her own tear accompanying her words.  
“You gave him a journal, his very first one. Inside you wrote the words to a song, you wrote together.” Dan mumbled as another tear fell splashing onto his shoe. The Dowager Queen gasped and looked up at Dan, looking at him properly with soft speckles of hope gleaming in her eyes, shining just as bright as her tears. Dan felt confidence fill his belly, and a trickle of excitement fill his veins, and he walked across to his half-packed suitcase, unhooking the necklace from his shirt and he pulled out his music box and journal from the depths of his suitcase.  
“And for his 13th birthday, you gave him a music box, a special on just for him.” Dan breathed, pushing all three objects towards the Dowager Queen. In silence and awe, the Dowager Queen unlocked the journal and wound the music box with shaking hands. The sweet, delicate tinkle filled the room, and the Dowager Queen’s lips moved silently with the music, her fingers tracing the words on the page. The tinkle of music faded away, and the Dowager Queen stared at Dan in wonder, her eyes filled with love and tears.  
“Daniel? Is it really you?” She asked.  
“Yes.” Dan breathed, “I finally found you.” 

The Dowager Queen opened her arms and Dan fell into them and let her gentle words wash over him.  
“You’re here your finally home.” She cried.  
“I am, I am.” Dan sighed into her arms; arms of warmth, a heart of love and familiar hands all smelling of cherry blossom. 

~~~~ 

The next morning Dan didn’t wake up cold on a thin mattress, not on pristine white hotel sheets but rather in a plush bed of his own, with a thick red duvet in a four poster bed. He woke up in his chambers, chambers of that belonged the Prince Daniel. Him.  
The sun was well above the horizon bathing his rooms in warm fresh light and Dan felt content despite the twinge in his heart. Despite the thick duvet on the soft mattress Dan couldn’t help but think how could the bed was, how curling up to a pillow didn’t feel the same as curling up against a real person and how comforting waking up with someone else could be. He felt his heart clench tighter and tighter until the silence in his room was broken by a knock on the door. 

“Yes?” he called out to the emptiness,  
“Sir, her Grace is waiting for you to come to breakfast.”  
Dan jumped out of bed, throwing the heavy covers aside running his hands through his hair, (he didn’t let himself think how much better it felt for someone else’s hands to be running through his hair) and pulled on a shirt from his (now extensive) wardrobe and ran down the hallway to meet his Grandmother.  
When he burst into the dining room late his grandmother only smirked a good morning to him over the rim of her teacup before inviting him to have a seat and to help himself to the array of breakfast food at the table. 

“So my darling,” Grandmother began as she poured another cup of tea for herself, “How are we going to announce yourself to the public?”  
Dan choked on his toast, spilling crumbs down his torso.  
“Announce- announce myself to the public?”  
“Of course? I have to tell everyone that my grandson has come back to me!” Grandmother smiled, a twinkle in her eye.  
“I dunno,” Dan mumbled as he pushed things around on his plate, “I’d rather keep things quiet. I don’t want to rule a country or start a war for power. I’d be happy just staying here with you as a nobody.”  
“My grandson is not a nobody and I refuse to let it be so. You are the Prince Daniel, you deserve your right to the throne.” Grandmother scorned as she put down her cup to tea.  
“Grandmamma I am no Prince, I’m not trained, I don’t know how to run a country and I don’t want to. I just want to live the rest of my life in peace with you, going to the theatre and living a quiet life. I’ve got all I want right here.” Dan admitted as he reached out to cradle his grandmother’s palm, softling stroking it with his thumb.  
Dan saw his grandmother take a deep breath and watched her release it as she turned to look at him fondly again.  
“Alright Daniel, I won’t ask for too much, it’s a miracle you’ve managed to make your way here in the first place.”  
“Thank you Grandmamma.” Dan smiled before turning back towards his food.  
She smiled in response before reaching out to gently stroke his cheek, revelling in the warmth of them and the reality that her grandson was finally here, right before her eyes.  
“Also,” Dan began, “Grandmamma, I go by Dan now.”  
Grandmother laughed as she agreed to call her grandson by the name he wanted. 

~~~~ 

Phil let out a deep breath as he clicked his suitcase shut, feeling finality in the clack sounds the clasps made, finality that this journey was finally over and it was time for him to find another one. Surely there was something out there for him the wide vast world, he’d find something to do with his time eventually. Felix had left earlier to go see Marzia and they were both aware that they might not see each other again for a long time if ever, but Phil didn’t have the heart to ask Felix to come with him for their next expedition; he knew that Felix had wanted to reconnect with Marzia for years and Phil wasn’t going to take that away from him. 

Heart heavy, Phil took his suitcase in hand and strided out the door letting it click softly behind him; walked to the lobby handed in his key and exited the hotel lobby with his head held high into the sunny street.  
He tried to walk with purpose, with his head held high, ignoring the ache in his heart, an ache that only grew as he got closer to the Dowager Queen’s estate. He had an appointment to get too, something he needed to see through. He would be there for only a moment, to accept some money and go. He wouldn’t run into Dan, wouldn’t run into him and see his deep caramel eyes or his soft fluttering eyelashes or his dimples when he smiled. As he walked up to the front door of the Dowager Queen’s grand estate his heart clenched painfully, his shoulders felt tight like someone was pulling them tight and his veins were filled with anxiety, making its’ way though his body like a wildfire. He pushed everything down with a deep breath as he knocked on the door, just for a moment he thought. 

A lady opened the door, Phil thought she must’ve been a butler or a housekeeper of some sort and directed him to a drawing room when he announced he was to see the Dowager Queen, that he was to collect something. The feeling of saying “prize money” left a bitter taste in his tongue, made pits of guilt settle in his stomach and filled his body with unease.  
He entered the room timidly, his mind hyper aware that if he looked hard enough, opened enough doors, wandered down enough halls that he would find Dan. His beautiful Dan who he ached to hold again, warm and safe in his arms, Dan with his soft cheeks and soft brunette curls. His daydreams were interrupted by the door opening and the Dowager Queen strolling into the room, her heels clicking softly against the polished wood floor and Phil’s stomach sank at the sight of the briefcase in her hands. 

“As promised, compensation for your efforts in bringing my Grandson back to me.” The Dowager Queen announced as she opened the case revealing neatly organised stacks of paper notes, surely enough to supply him for a lifetime. But in his mind he could only hear Dan’s words.  
_“You only wanted me to get your reward! Not to help me find my family or to reunite a family!”_  
Phil winced, the memory painful and tender.  
_“I hate you for what you’ve done”_  
_“I hate you for what you tricked me into doing”_

Accepting the money in front of him would only prove Dan’s point Phil realised. He didn’t want to leave that impression on Dan, despite the fact that they would never see each other again. He didn’t want to bow out of Dan’s life as a conman who only used him as a pawn in a game for reward. Dan might think of him that way forever but Phil was going to try his hardest to leave the best impression he could. 

“With all due respect your Grace.” Phil began, “but I do not want the money.”  
The Dowager Queen looked shocked and Phil felt a sense of relief make its way through his, body.  
“Then what do you want young man? You brought my Grandson back to me, someone I’ve been seeking for years, surely you must desire some reward.”  
Phil’s heart clenched at the thought of asking for Dan, just asking him to see him again, asking to give him a hug before he departed forever, a simple kiss to say goodbye, anything.  
“Unfortunately it’s nothing you can give Your Grace.” Phil admitted as he rose from his seat.  
“Thank you for your time milady.” he farewelled as he left the room, letting the door click behind him.  
He was almost at the front door when the Dowager Queen called for him. 

“Young man!” 

Phil turned around feeling exasperated despite having done very little with his day.  
“Yes Your Grace?”  
“You tricked someone to believing they were the great lost Prince Daniel Howell, you made a treacherous journey across the border, you left your home to come here knowing you mightn’t be able to return. But you want nothing for your efforts. Why the change of mind?”  
Phil let out a deep sigh as he turned the door handle and stepped out onto the door step into the warm sunlight.  
“It was more a change of heart.” 

~~~~ 

Phil slowly walked up the steps to Marzia’s small home admiring the neatness of her garden and he smiled knowing that Felix had a fondness for flowers, he knew how to tell someone something simply through what flowers were in a bouquet. He said it was the language of flowers, floriography, where he learnt it Phil didn’t know. He knocked on the door delicately and immediately heard someone bustling to the door and Phil smiled. Marzia was a brilliant hostess according to Felix’s fond retellings of the time they spent together, she loved throwing dinners and luncheons and she was a generous kind host if nothing else. 

The door swung open to reveal Marzia wearing a lacy white dress and a bright smile on her face.  
“Phil!” she greeted, pulling him into an embrace.  
“Felix! Phil is here for lunch!.”  
Felix came tumbling down the stairs and pulled Phil into a hug before grabbing him by the hand to lead Phil to the table where Marzia had laid out a lavish spread of food. Phil sat and began to eat and for a moment all he could think about was good food, good company and for a moment he had no worries about what he was going to do next.  
“So,” Felix began as he leaned back into his seat, his stomach comfortably full, “what are you gonna do now?”  
Phil flicked his eyes to the linen tablecloth as he took the edge and began to rub it in between his fingers.  
“I dunno, might by a train ticket somewhere, go see the world maybe.”  
“I mean with all that reward money you could probably see the whole world three times over.”  
Phil forced out a chuckle ignoring the sinking feeling that he didn’t have any reward money but his heart twisted at the thought of taking it. 

The afternoon went by but Phil knew everything had to come to an end so when Marzia said she was going to get ready for dinner and ballet with the Dowager Queen Phil knew it was his time to depart.  
“It was good seeing you Felix.” Phil breathed as he took the man into his embrace. Felix let out a huff, “You too Phil.” He said as he pulled away, “But don’t disappear on me okay? Don’t run off like the beautiful young lady upstairs.” he chucked as his eyes flicked towards the ceiling but Phil would have to be blind not to see the fondness in his eyes. “I’m pretty sure that was you Felix.” Felix only responded with a snicker as he led Phil to the door. 

Phil stepped out into the crisp air and relished in the wind on his cheeks as it made its way across the dusty rose sky. He began to walk down the steps towards the gate that bordered the house.  
“Hey Phil!” Felix called. Phil turned around on his foot, feeling the gravel shift underneath his shoes.  
“Yeah.”  
“If you need anything, we’ll be here.”  
Phil turned to look at the sky again, the sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon and birds were gliding across the warm yellow light.  
“Thanks Felix.”  
And with that Phil opened the gate, let it click shut delicately behind him and made his way down the street, around the corner and out of sight. 

~~~~ 

Dan shifted in his seat running his hands over and over the soft velvet of his blazer as he watched the audience filter into the auditorium below the private balcony he was in. When he heard his Grandmamma sigh he turned towards her.  
“What is it Grandmamma?” he asked, placing a gentle hand on her forearm.  
“Look over there.” she said, pointing towards a young couple below them. The pair were leaning close together, their hands intertwined, whispering into each others ears, giggling as quietly as they could. Dan’s heart ached at the sight, knowing all too well how it felt, to have someone’s warm hand in his own, to have his blood alight with fondness to feel a flush on his cheeks, to love simply the company of another person. 

“I miss having that.” Grandmamma remincised, “But no matter,” she said as she rubbed Dan’s hand between here own, “It’s your turn now with your young man.”  
“What young man Grandmamma?” Dan asked despite knowing full well who she was talking about, despite the sinking feeling in his stomach.  
“The one who brought you to me of course! The handsome one with quite the spine if I do say so myself.” She laughed, “Did you know he demanded, yelled at me to give you a second chance? Good thing he did too, otherwise I’d live the rest of my days not knowing that my Grandson was very much alive.”  
“He’s not my young man Grandmamma,” Dan grumbled, “He’s probably enjoying the riches you gave him, spending it all without a care in the world.”  
“It would be pretty hard to spend riches that you didn’t have.” Grandmamma said as she leaned back into her plush seat. 

“What?” 

“He didn’t take the money Dan darling, he said that what he wanted I could not give to him and he walked away with his pockets just as light as they were when he arrived.”  
That sentence made Dan’s whole world shift. He felt the flooring give way and no matter how tightly he gripped his seat Dan felt his stomach erupt with butterflies and his heart pound heavily. Here he was thinking that Phil was using him for money the entire time, but Phil didn’t take the money and he knew the money was rightfully Phil’s, Dan was the real prince afterall. So why wouldn't he? Phil taking the money meant that he won the chess game that was presenting an acceptable Prince Daniel to The Dowager Queen. A game that Dan was only a pawn in, someone to manipulate, someone to aid him to victory. But Phil not taking the money meant that he had stepped away from the game, leaving Dan to do what he wanted, meaning that perhaps things had changed, that Phil didn't want to manipulate him. Maybe he just wanted to be there for Dan, with open arms, a warm heart and caring eyes. 

“I need air.” Dan muttered as he rose from his seat and bolted out of the auditorium as his Grandmother watched him with a knowing smile.  
On the way out of the lobby Dan stumbled into Felix who was arm in arm with Marzia.  
“Where’s Phil?” he spat out, not bothering with pleasantries.  
Felix looked shocked at the harshness of his tone but answered all the same.  
“Last we saw him, he said he was gonna head to the train station. Said he wanted to see the world.”  
Dan’s stomach sank, if Phil had already gotten on a train he would be out of reach, leaving Dan behind. But he had to try, so he muttered a thanks and bolted out of the lobby, into the evening light and ran to hail a cab. 

~~~~ 

Phil stood on the bridge connecting two banks, staring out towards the river, starlight reflecting in its’ waters and took a deep breath feeling his shoulders unwind. The train station was on the right bank, it’s image mirroring the the gentle lapping water, warm lights and the shadows of bustling people. On the left bank were houses, were the homes of people, where Dan was. Phil shook his head at the thought; Dan had his family now, he had found his home and he would never look back at Phil, never give him a second glance, a wave, a smile or word like he did in the parade all those years ago or at the palace when Phil had saved him. Fate had woven their lives thrice already and everytime they left parting ways and Phil was a fool to think that his string of fate would intertwine with Dan’s any longer. With a final sigh, Phil began to cross the bridge, making his way across the river, leaving the left bank of home, love and possibly a family behind and towards the right where uncertainty lingered but he ignored the sinking feeling in his stomach, the clench of his heart and the slow tension knotting in his shoulders. He had a train ticket to buy, a carriage to walk onto and somewhere to go to, where he didn’t know but he knew he would go from there. He elected to ignore a voice in his conscience telling him that he was running away from everything,  
He was only steps away from stepping off the bridge, a few strides away to the entrance of the train station when he heard it. 

“Phil! Phil! Wait!” 

He whipped around, he couldn’t help it. Dan could ask Phil to hand him the moon and Phil do his best to do so.  
Phil saw Dan across the bridge and the sight of him made his lungs tighten, his heart hammer and made his entire body feel warm. His curly hair was messy, like he had anxiously run his hands through it and infinite amount of times and Phil knew he had. He had adorned a dark plum suit, with a black shirt and under the starlight, in the glow of the moon Phil didn’t know if he had seen a more beautiful sight in his life and he was beginning to feel that he never would. That knowledge only made Phil’s stomach sink, this was only going to make it harder to say goodbye. 

Phil started to make his way back to Dan, he deserved a proper goodbye at least, he began walking closer and he ignored a flutter of his heart when Dan started doing the same.  
“If you ever see my from a carriage again, don’t wave, don’t smile.” Phil teased. Dan let out a soft laugh at that before reaching up to push a strand of hair out of Phil’s face but Phil gently pushed his hand away before he could.  
“I don’t want to be love with someone I can’t have.” Phil finally admitted before turning away trying not to look at Dan’s heartbroken expression, but of course he saw, he probably would never be able to resist looking at Dan. But he turned back to look at Dan one more time,  
“Goodbye Your Majesty.” he said with a bow before turning his back once more.  
But before he could even take a couple steps Dan had taken him by the shoulder and whipped him back round again.  
“You’re an idiot if you think I’m letting you get on that train.” Dan scorned, his brows crinkled and his mouth downturned in a frown. Even when he was upset, even when Phil was trying to walk away, he still saw Dan as adorable no matter his facial expression. 

“I can’t stay, I can’t stay with you Dan, I can’t stay in this city cause every street reminds me of you. I can’t rule a country Dan, there are better people for you who can do so much better than I can, who can provide so much more than I can.”  
“But what if I don’t want someone else?” Dan protested, “What if I want you and only you with me all the time?”  
Phil shook his head, “I can’t Dan, I can’t help you rule, I don’t want a life surrounded by people who look down of me. I’m a commoner Dan, I’m a conman, you don’t belong with me.”  
When Phil was met with silence he took that as his cue to back away, to leave for good but before he had even taken more than one step Dan threw a timid question into the wind. 

“Could you, could you close your eyes and put your hand out?” 

Phil’s heart gave a flutter as he offered out his hand as he shut his eyes and he felt his entire body warm when he felt Dan take his hand but he yelped when Dan suddenly jerked him closer. Phil opened his eyes with a yelp and was welcomed with the beautiful sight of Dan in the soft lamplight.  
“I’m not going to rule.” Dan said blunty. “I don’t want to. I’m going to live quietly with my Grandma and I want you there. We don’t have to do anything with nobility, it can just be you, me and this city.” 

Phil was tempted, every bone in his body, every nerve was on fire, his very soul ached for what Dan had just described.  
“Princes don’t fall in love with con-men.” Phil said with a soft breath, his last defence for not going with Dan. But Dan pulled Phil closer, there lips only a breath apart and Phil could see into Dan’s eyes, see into the depths of them, he could see the constellations of freckles on his face, ones that he wanted to trace with his fingertips every morning.  
“But people fall in love all the time.” Dan breathed and then Phil knew that he was going to stay but before he could utter a word Dan leaned in and pressed their lips together and Phil felt a cataclysmic explosion in his body as everything fell into place. This was where he belonged, not in a cramped building that was falling apart, not in a plush hotel, not in a lavish expansive castle and not on a train making its; journey, but he belonged here in Dan’s arms, with Dan’s lips on his, with their hearts beating together, with their fingers interlocked and their warm bodies pressed together.  
“Stay. Please stay.” Dan breathed quietly when they finally took a breath. Phil squeezed Dan’s hand before leaning in lose.  
“I’ll stay.”  
Phil’s heart soared at the sight of Dan’ smile when he heard the words that Phil had uttered before leaning in to claim Phil’s lips in another kiss.  
They stayed together on the bridge, lips moving together, Dan’s arm tight around Phil’s back, Phil’s arms wound around Dan’s neck in the middle of the bridge, above the glistening water, under the twinkling starlight, under the soft glow of the moon as two people who were destined to find each other despite every circumstance, as two people who found home, love and family in each other. 

**fin.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i hope you enjoyed this fic. i just wanna thank raina again (lucid-romance on tumblr) for beta-ing and emily (i-stg-emily) for [the playlist](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLohZYpK90pm0-S1b5pAs0FzcqR3bRI3CO) she made. you can find my on tumblr at diamond0604 or on twitter @softystevie
> 
> thank you once again for reading <3


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